Our Hearts' Desire (The Monkees Family Vol. 2)

Chapter 29

Davy returned from his trip home on the 29th so that the family could get together and celebrate his and Mike's birthdays. Gabby was still scared to be in a situation where she'd have to talk one-on-one with Micky with no one nearby, so they decided to just book a table at a restaurant where they could keep the two separated at either end of the table and keep contact to a minimum. This time, Gabby had her own car so that she and Davy would be seen to be leaving separately. Davy just had to remember not to drink too much so he could drive himself home. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to manage this.

By the time everyone had arrived at the restaurant and they were settled into their private dining room — still a necessity despite their having been out of the spotlight for a few years — Davy was in his cups, having imbibed quite a bit of whiskey. He was jubilant to see his friends, but when Micky showed up, his demeanor turned to thunder like the eye of a hurricane leaving the vicinity and the storm unleashing its fury on what it left behind. Jan immediately decided she had better take charge of Davy and try to either sober him up or talk him into a better attitude, so she marched him out of the restaurant and walked him around the block. The night was relatively cool for Los Angeles and the air went a fair piece towards helping him regain his faculties, if not composure.

Jan felt both compassion and concern for Davy. While everyone had been focusing on Gabby's undeniably pitiable situation, Davy's own mental state was undoubtedly deteriorating. She slipped her hand in his and spoke quietly but firmly to him.

"Davy, you have got to get a grip on your negative emotions. They're leaking out of you from every pore. I know you're hurt, angry, offended, confused – go ahead, tell me some more adjectives. Get them off your chest, it will do you good."

Davy snorted derisively at this word association/stream of consciousness game Jan was suggesting, but then realized how much he had been holding inside and decided to go ahead and let some of it out.

He picked up Jan's list and added some more to it. "I'm outraged, jilted, jealous, disgusted, heartsick, depressed, aimless, despairing." He stopped walking and turned to Jan with tears in his eyes. He threw his hands out to his sides and cried "Look at me, Jan. What's missing? What don't I have that she wants? And how come a guy like Micky can fuck up so royally and abuse her so badly and still get a chahnce at getting her back?"

Jan let her hands gently push Davy's arms back down, pausing a moment to caress them. "Davy, there's not a thing missing. There's nothing that you don't have. You just aren't the man she's in love with. Maybe if Micky blows his chances with her, you will be the man left in her life whom she loves best and maybe then you'll get a chance to help her fall in love with you. I'll bet she loves you tremendously, but she's never even considered being in love with you."

Davy dropped his head and nodded. "Yeh, she told me that the night we..."

Jan furrowed her brows in confusion. "Then if that's the case, why did she go ahead and sleep with you?"

Davy winced and took Jan's hands in his, hoping he could explain this to her in a way she could understand. "Jan, she did it to help a friend. I told her how miserable I was, spending so many years under her spell, not being able to move forward with me life with you or any other woman. I begged her to do it so that maybe it would help me either move past her or convince her to be with me. She told me she wasn't going to make any decisions about whether to be with me or not until she figured out what to do about Micky. And she told me she wasn't in love with me and never had been. But since Micky had done her wrong, she felt she happened to be in a moral position to grant me request, and she agreed, as long as I could handle the consequences of her maybe not falling in love with me. In fact, she asked me what would happen if she fell in love with me and I got over her and I told her it was a possibility, so she was sacrificing her own happiness for me. What she did was purely for me own benefit. How could I know it would only make me love and want her more?"