Requited

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Author : justanothernobody
Original publish on : archieve of our own | 2018
Author notes : Crossposted on AFF under the account @mp_2506

"What better way to procrastinate than by writing a fanfic," I think to myself as I typed in the Word document ignoring the review notes on the corner of my desk. Truly, I've got my priorities in check.

English isn't my first language so help me out and inform me of any mistakes I've made. I'm open to constrictive criticism so feel free to do that as well. Enjoy! :)

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The agreement was simple — a constant fuck from time to time with no strings attached. But that was never how it worked.

When they started this — whatever it really was — things were okay. Sure, Jungsoo had a bit of fondness for Heechul, but it was all under control. It all went downhill the moments after that.

When the two laid side by side in the morning the Jungsoo can see every bit of fine detail on Heechul's face. He stared at him, the way his long ebony hair covered a part of his face, the serene expression he has when asleep, the plump lips of his put in a line opposite of his usual smirk. He knows, he's falling way too hard.

If Heechul sleeping looked amazing, when awake Heechul looked just as great, or even more. The next morning was never awkward for them. Years of being friends has its ways of making everything fine, even after a round or two of sex on Jungsoo's bed. He wakes up with his dark amber hair tousled from last night's activities and a few faded marks left by his fingers around his shoulders and nape. Heechul wakes up looking much more disorganised — with longer hair comes more mess, his lips look somewhat marred by teeth (not only his, Jungsoo's mind supplies), and the same faded marks on his waist and hips.

Regardless, Heechul wakes up and greets him nonchalantly with a good morning of sorts. He asks the time and Jungsoo replies, "It's 8.37." He stands up to grab his clothes and walks to the shower all while asking, "Don't you have a schedule today?" He hums in reply, now in a seated position on the bed. He sits alone in silence, wishing that Heechul can just understand a bit more.

At times, Jungsoo thinks Heechul is a sadist outside the bedroom. It's the sort of facade he gives off to him. The kind that gives him affection beyond what even the best of friends do but also gestures that remind him to not get his hopes up. It's these things that frustrate him. Heechul always does this and every time he does so it gives his bruised heart another rough jab.

Sometimes it all just feels too much for him. He free-falling from the skies and he can't see the ground beneath him. Jungsoo thinks, is it even possible to love someone to the point where it hurts? Because if it's impossible, why was he in pain? Because he knows, Heechul isn't in love with him. He's in love with this, the regular sex between them and the friendship they share. He doesn't love him like Jungsoo does; the mornings he spent staring at him and admiring him, the longing glance he throws when they're apart, the times he doesn't focus on his work and focuses on Heechul instead — Heechul doesn't love him that way.

If Jungsoo's tears on one morning after another night wasn't enough of a clue, he thinks he might as well be a fool. Heechul knows - he might look as if he had no clue of what's happening but he knows everything. The way they make out in the backseat of the car has Jungsoo's lips placed gently on his, the sweet words he speaks against his skin mean way too much, lacing their hand together atop the sheets show it too, and most of all, the way he looks at him when he thinks Heechul isn't watching. It hurts him to think Jungsoo agreed to this months ago with feelings already contained and hurts him more to know that the feelings only increase after that. He wants to show him that's he's not worthy of Jungsoo's heart but the heart wants what it wants, it seems.

So on an evening they spent in a library searching for books to finish their thesis for uni, Heechul pins him against the bookshelf to kiss him softly on the lips. His form is rigid under him, so he kisses him with a bit more force but still somewhat gentle. Jungsoo kisses back and his arms go pull his collar in attempt to bring them closer. When they part, Heechul whispers out an I love you while giving Jungsoo an intense gaze. The bright grin on his face was a sight to behold before he smiled as well. He puts his hands of either sides and kisses him again, happiness practically radiating off of them.

Perhaps this gives them a new page to start on.


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