Nyctophilia

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Author : paradox_scx
Original publish on : archieve of our own | 2018

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nyctophilia (n.) - love of darkness or night , finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness .

He is exhausted from everyone , from everything from the flashes of the camera , from the media , from the rumors , from people . He let out a sigh then enter his room without bothering turning on the lights as he crumbles to the floor because he step on something . 

He let out again an exhausted sigh as a tear drops from his eyes falls down . His cat Heebum curled up next to him maybe sensing that his owner is sad and trying to comfort him . He sit down and keep petting Heebum while the tears keeps broking down . Heck he don't even know why he is crying like this and he supposed not to cry just because he is stress out damn . 

He let out another sigh as someone call out outside his door "Heechul ?" and it follow by a knock . Heechul tried to gather his voice then spoke " Come in and don't turn on the lights it will hurt my eyes " he said trying not to sound as if he is crying . His leader enter the room and sat beside him . Even though in the dark he saw the concern of his leader in his eyes .

Leeteuk scoots over and said " You can lean on me" and he did . He lean on his leaders shoulder and it made him weak again but this time he knows someone is beside him . 

Leeteuk remain silent as he touched the others hair and petted it . The silence is comfortable but Heechul break it " I'm tired " he said and gave out a long sigh " I'm tired of everything Jungsoo " he broke finally broke down.

" I'm tired of being in front of the camera and keeps acting like there's nothing wrong with me , I'm tired of the company expectations , I'm tired of playing like I'm a happy go lucky person , I'm tired of holding back the group just because I have this goddamn steel on my legs , I'm tired of being burdened to you , I'm tired !!! I'm sorry for being a useless person " Heechul said with a tears , painful tears , again he is thankful for the darkness because he knows it somewhat hide all his feelings but no , it's Jungsoo and he knows he can't hide anything from the latter . 

Jungsoo kiss his head and he said " Shhh , now look at me " but Heechul didn't move . "Heenim look at me please " Jungsoo said pleading and he turn his head and look at the latter. Even though it's dark he can see clearly the face of his Angel , the worried yet lovely face of His angel . 

" Heenim " Jungssoo started . " You know that your not useless , your not a burdened to me or to the group , you know that even your not in front of the camera or your not your playful self I'm just here for you , even the lights is not on , even your in the darkness , you know that I will be by your side and our group members " as Jungsoo caress his face and kiss his lips softly . 

" You know that I will guide you no matter what , I'm just here what Angel would I will become if I can't even take care of the most precious person that I love ?" the leader chuckled and muttered " I love you just remembered that " 

he didn't answer but he already feel safe , he feel so light and the latter help him stand up and guide him to finally laid on his bed . 

Jungsoo didn't leave but also laid beside him . He cuddle beside his leader and close his eyes and before the darkness eat him he muttered " I love you too ". 

Yeah Heechul love darkness , he loves it because he knows even the darkness engulfed him an Angel will always stay by his side no matter what .

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