Ken didn't sleep that night. After boarding up the open window, he changed the lock of the door. Saka siya naupo sa harapan ng kwarto niya, kung saan natutulog si Ahn. Nang mag-umaga, he went down to prepare breakfast for her. He knew it wasn't enough to make her forget about last night, pero gusto niyang makabawi rito kahit sa mumunting paraan.
He cooked her favorite spaghetti.
Umakyat siyang muli at kumatok sa pintuan.
"Ahn, I made breakfast for you."
When she didn't answer, he unlocked the door and took a peek. Tulog pa rin si Ahn. Balot na balot ito ng kumot. Good thing he had the aircon on. Nilapitan niya ito at hinawi ang buhok na nakaharang sa mukha nito. Mugtong-mugto ang mga mata nito. Pulang-pula rin ang ilong nito kaiiyak.
He touched her cheek. "Ahn?"
She stirred but did not open her eyes.
Idinikit niya ang noo sa noo nito. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Nang lumayo siya ay nakadilat na ito. They stared at each other for quite some time. And then she said, "For what? Kindly enumerate."
--
Ken blinked twice. He clearly wasn't expecting that. Bumangon siya, tinanggal ang makapal na kumot na nakabalot at saka ito nilampasan. She could hear him follow her downstairs.
"I made you breakfast," he told her.
Nakita niya ang spaghetti sa lamesa. The smell alone made her mouth water.
She took the plate and threw it at the trash bin. She looked at him and waited for him to react, but he's too surprised to even speak.
"What does it feel like to have something you worked hard for get thrown in the trash?"
"Ahn..."
"Stop acting out of guilt, Ken. Stop acting like you care. I didn't get raped so it's okay. Hindi mo naman kasalanan. Kasalanan ko yun dahil tinanggal ko yung harang sa bintana. It's always my fault, so don't bother apologizing."
He didn't budge. Nang magtimpla siya ng kape ay nakasunod lamang ang tingin nito sa kanya.
"I wasn't acting out of guilt," sabi nito. "It scared the shit out of me, Ahn!"
"Oh? Talaga, natakot ka?" she scoffed. "That's news."
Ken looked... hurt. Well, that's news as well. She was already awake when he knocked on the door earlier. Pumikit siyang muli nang buksan nito ang pintuan ng kwarto. She thought that if she pretended to be asleep, he would leave her alone. But he didn't. Instead, idinikit nito ang noo nito sa noo niya and then he muttered sorry.
She didn't know what to feel. Did he finally say sorry because she was almost raped?
"You can sleep in my room from now on. I'll just sleep on the couch," sabi nito.
"I don't need your sympathy."
"I am not sympathizing! Can't you just accept what I'm offering and be grateful?!" singhal nito.
"Can't you just accept my apology and forgive?" pabalik niyang tanong. "You can't, right? Kasi mahirap."
She took the cup of coffee and headed upstairs. Nagkulong siya sa tambakan, kahit mainit at halos hindi siya makahinga. Ken boarded the window again, kaya nangangapa na naman siya sa dilim. Pero mas okay na sa kanya ang ganito kaysa naman may pumasok na namang lalaki sa kwarto.
She took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. Hindi pala niya nalagyan ng asukal.
Sighing, kinapa niya ang isang malapit na kahon at saka niya ipinatong doon ang tasa. Kakahiga pa ang niya nang marinig niyang kumatok si Ken sa pintuan.
