The Potions Master

тшеитуeigнт: behind black eyes

I kept thinking of that night, it was a complete disaster, for sure the worst night of my entire life. I lost so much, but I felt like maybe I also gained a bit.. I don't know. I just hope nothing gets to crazy. Hopefully everyone would forget all about it soon. I don't think I'll ever go to a ball again.

I was nervously walking to Snape's classroom, thinking about how strange he's been and hoping maybe it'd be normal again. Like the beginning. Hardly any friends, and a close teacher. But maybe that was best for me, I've been reflecting a lot this morning. I think having 6+ friends is just a little too much.. What can I say?! After the recent events.. I think it's good.

I opened the door and silently stepped in, the door clicking behind me quietly. I waited for him to notice me but he never did, or maybe he did notice but he just disregarded me. I walked down the aisles of tables till I reached his desk and set my books down. "I'm ready". I stated, he slowly looked up at me and a tired look in his eye. "Good morning". He greeted, I smiled faintly. "Morning". I replied, pulling a chair up and sitting in it. "Ready for tutoring". I cheerfully said and scooted in closer. "Just let me have my coffee and I'll .. I apologize. I'm exhausted". He muttered and rubbed his eyes, taking a sip from his freshly brewed coffee. "Hard time sleeping?" I asked curiously. "None of your business". He replied, I rolled my eyes. "There's a surprise". I joked, he didn't even slightly crack a small smile. He was grumpy especially today. I bit my tongue and wrapped my arms around myself. "I guess not only is this morning very tiring, it's also very cold". I commented. "Indeed".

It was quiet for a few moments until he cleared his throat, adjusting his chair and took my textbook. And tutoring would begin...

time skip.

I was so bored, it was now lunch and I just couldn't focus. I was so tired I could hardly pay attention to anything he was trying to teach me. Not to mention my dumb stupid brian couldn't wrap around the stuff he was trying to teach me. I just continued to stare at him blankly, watching his mouth as he gestured to parts of the notes and papers, his voice was ongoing but I couldn't listen to the words, but I was listening to his soothing voice. Something was so different about his voice, it was so calming and, unique. I enjoyed it. This crush was becoming a serious issue..

You know Severus is smart, maybe he knows what that egg is for, seeing as the next task is getting closer..

"See so the brainworms go before the wormwood and then you have to put in--"

"Hey Professor! What's that egg for, the golden egg? The one I won? Do you know.. maybe?" I interrupted sheepishly grinning at him. "No and I don't care, now focus".

He then restarted and continued talking unknowing that I wasn't focusing at all. I began thinking about the kiss. I mean, was I a good kisser? I mean, I think. I know he was. I cringed and wrapped myself in my arms tighter. Should I ask about it? No he'd kick me out for sure...

I dozed off further thinking of my friends, I could hear his voice faintly going on but I was hardly listening. I rested my head on my hand, thinking of my friends. I don't think I gained anything.. I feel so lonely, and it was like an empty void. Maybe i'm just mourning the loss, but I hope maybe I can regain their trust.

"Are you okay?" I turned my head immediately sitting up, noticing Severus was staring at me with a slight concerned expression. "What? I-I'm fine". I stated, flabbergasted he even cared. Or maybe he didn't.

"Then focus". He continued. He then began speaking of something, something about my other classes and how I was doing quite well in them. I decidedly continued to drift off and think. I missed Cassidy and her quirks. She was one of the best friends I'd ever had. And brian, he's never glared at me like that before.. Then- ugh! Draco. He ruined everything! Maybe if I just kept my mouth shut and did nothing she would've still been my friend...