bts pt.2 // kim seokjin //

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π sn π

note 1

hi. i'm kim seokjin.

i wanted to try this out for no exact reason, to be honest.

i guess i'm desperate.

hahaha

note 2

yoongi is my room mate.

i can't have him finding out about this.

although this is just the second time writing

i have to be careful and hide this in a good place as much as possible.

note 3

i laid flat on my bed, staring at the high, grey-like ceiling, its white color gone due to the dark.

staring blankly, music blasting in my earbuds.

consumed by darkness, i close my eyes to see no difference at all.

darkness

emptiness

that's all i've ever felt ever since

note 4

hoseok got mad at me. he yelled at me for not understanding the steps.

i don't have the right to complain, though.

it was my fault for not understanding.

i shouldn't pretend that i am actually the one who got hurt.

that i am the one who cries even though i was the one at fault.

that i have the right to get mad at life even though i was the one who made it like this.

i don't have the right to do all of those.

and i know that.

i did this.

i'll endure this.

but, it just hurts.

i would act, make up stories just so that people would see that i am the one in pain.

that i was the one who they hurt.

that i was the one who people hurt.

but no.

i am the one who hurts people.

i am the one who hurt all of them.

i know that.

i don't know why.

but it hurts so much.

it just hurts.

note 5