bts pt.2 // kim seokjin //

scene 15

Tilting his head, he sighed, looking at the screen wordlessly. He eyed the comments. Some touched his heart, some made him chuckle. But he couldn't brush off the thought that continues to linger around the corners of his mind.

They were just doing this since he told them he was an idol, right? What's worse is that he left out points, information that would point out to his identity that he continues to conceal.

He knew what he did was risky. Practically riskier than what he did with the notes that remains to be hidden behind the board.

There was a high chance, no, someone would've figured it out already, they were just keeping quiet. He couldn't help but feel anxious about it.

But he couldn't help and feel free as well. He finally had some people to hear him out. To hear his problems, and not even care with what their response was. He just wanted to be heard.

"Hyung, can I use your phone?"

Seokjin turned to look at his side, Taehyung squishing himself to him, a smile on his lips. Seokjin bit his lip. He wasn't risking it. He had taken so manh risks, he can't take to make another. He pulled the earbuds that were in his ears, despite not having any songs played.

"I'm listening to something Tae, maybe Yoongi's? He's asleep anyways." He lied, gesturing towards the back seat where Yoongi and Hoseok decided to sit on. Well, lay on for Yoongi's part.

Taehyung pouted a bit but smiled. "Okay Hyung! Thanks anyways!" And he turned towards Hoseok who was currently holding on both his and Yoongi's phone.

Seokjin placed back the earbud, looking out at the window, watching pedestrians, watching families and friends walk down the sidewalks. Envying the natural smiles on their faces.

Despite majoring in acting, he never felt he was a good actor. He never felt he was hiding those demons behind his smile. He felt like his smile was not hiding it at all. He actually thought his other members would've noticed in just a month, maybe a week. A year has passed, no one dared to take action. Was he actually good at acting?

He then turned to look at his members. They were minding their own businesses, not even noticing Seokjin's sudden observation session.

Jungkook and Jimin were in the same row in front of him, whispering and giggling at something Seokjin can't figure. Taehyung was scrolling through Yoongi's Camera Roll, laughing at the pictures he must've taken just a while ago. Hoseok and Yoongi were at the same state, with Yoongi not even moving an inch. With Namjoon at the front seat, Seokjin's lips turned to a flat line.

He saw those smiles on their faces whenever they interacted with each other, was he included? He heard those laughs they shared, when was the last time he was included?

He didn't want those smiles, the laughter to be gone because of him. But was he the source of their happiness? If he were given the chance to leave them, perhaps because of what he lacked as member, they'll still be happy, right? If anyone, he would be the least to affect anyone at all.

But he didn't want to leave them. Call him selfish, he would do anything just to stick with them. They were the only ones he had left.

But if they knew? If they knew what was happening to him? They would never forgive him. They would never treat him the same way. They would no longer accept him. And he didn't want that.

"Seokjin hyung!"

Seokjin looked up to see Taehyung staring at him. He froze. Did he do something wrong? Did he upset them? What did he do?

"I have been calling you for almost ten minutes now! Hoseok hyung and Yoongi hyung can't get out if you're still there."

Seokjin glanced up to see Hoseok and Yoongi looking at him, irritation and worry in their eyes respectively. He mumbled an apology before stepping out the vehicle, bumping his head when he stepped out. Wincing, he waved off the head ache that came as soon as his thoughts came.

He smiled at Namjoon when he gave a concerned look towards the male. As if he was asking Seokjin if he was okay, Seokjin nodded either way, earning a response of lips pursing.

He can't risk them knowing. He can't let them know what was happening. He just can't.

Smile Seokjin. You're good at it, trust me. It's practically the only thing you're good at aside from fucking up.