Reality Check

Everything That Could Go Wrong Has Gone Wrong

A/N - Grab some tissues for the first part of this chapter! You're going to need them bc this chapter is a rollercoaster! also, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY (FEB 12)!!! Hope you enjoy it & please leave some feedback if you like it!

Alive (by Sia)

"I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing. I'm alive . . ."

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Eleven days.

Sometimes, it was hard to keep track of things. Especially when stuck inside a jail cell for the umpteenth time. The only thing she'd really been able to do was count to make time pass quicker. Counting the days gave her a way to keep track of time . . . not that it really mattered. She'd probably tire of it by day three-hundred or so. It wasn't like she'd be leaving anytime soon, so she didn't exactly need to know how many days she'd been here. It helped with the boredom, though. And the loneliness.

Kara should've realized that she had made a mistake by letting herself get locked up again, but it was too late for any of that. It was eleven days too late, and without a time bracelet there was no way to reverse anything. Maybe she was supposed to just let life happen and not go back in time to change it, even if she didn't like the way her life was going. If there was anything the universe was teaching her, it was that.

Her prison cell — if that was even what it could be called — was a small room with one door and no windows. It'd given her a couple of days before she realized there was even a door, because the room was so dark that nothing could be seen. She hated how dark it was, and how everything was eerily silent. She had no one to talk to but herself, and the person who occasionally came to bring her food never spoke.

"Solitary confinement", as it was called, was certainly harder to deal with than the time prison. Being here almost made Kara miss the time prison, even though it'd been a horrible experience. But she knew she was supposed to be there, just like she was supposed to be here. It was better to be here, no matter how much she longed to be free. But she never would be. Not if the world continued to be in danger because of her.

If she weren't locked up, the entire world would die off. She'd try her hardest to avoid that outcome. She'd lock herself up for the rest of her life, if she had to. She had to keep the world safe, no matter how much everyone hated her. Her very existence was putting the world in jeopardy, and she couldn't live with herself if she were the cause of the world dying. She'd feel guilty forever.

Strangely enough, though, the end of the world wasn't as concerning as it used to be. Maybe it was because she was in complete darkness and silence, unable to communicate with anyone, but she wasn't as scared as she had been. Kara was more scared that she'd never see daylight again. Being alone in the darkness was slowly driving her crazy. It gave her plenty of time to think, but there wasn't much she could do besides that.

A small part of her wondered if the world was truly going to die because of her. All the signs pointed to it, but a part of her hoped that somehow, she'd be free someday to start anew, not having to worry about where her actions would lead her. It was wishful thinking, but it was all Kara could dream about. It was all she'd ever wanted.

Saving the world from utter destruction was all she'd tried to do, and she certainly had tried endless times. Countless times. It was hard to imagine a time when she wasn't trying to stop something from happening. She made mistakes without even trying, and when she tried to fix them, they fell apart even more.

Really, she'd never been able to imagine much of anything until now, since she was stuck in a dark room with nothing else to do. Often, she envisioned what her life would be like if her mistakes and burdens fell away. It would be wonderful if she could be a normal, harmless girl for once. But it just wasn't her. Normal wasn't Kara Dox, and no amount of dreaming could change that. Not even here.