There is something you need to know about me, I don't do relationships or crushes, or anything like that. So when this happened, I got shook:
I feel the smallest bit of throw up in my mouth as I walk down the street with my friends.
"Whoa, are you ok?" Zach asks me, noticing my over exaggerated gag. I nod my head.
"Yeah, but I just saw those people kissing." I tell him. Zach suddenly looks lost and turn to the people.
"What's wrong with them kissing?" He asks me again. I shudder.
"I just hate PDA." I explain. Instantly, Jonah scoffs from the other side of Zach.
"Not just PDA. You hate anything and everything about romantic relationships." He tells me and Zach. I shrug.
"Not everything."
"Name one thing that you like then!" Jonah tells me. Pondering, my eyes look up to the sky as if they're searching in the clouds for the answer. "See! You can't." He seems smug.
"What don't you like about relationships?" Zach turns to me again. Again, I shrug.
"They're just... ew." I say shuddering.
"Wait, so you never want to be in a relationship with anyone?" The boy asks.
"I don't know. I guess I do want to like find love and like get married or something- ew, ew what am I saying, that's gross." I cut myself off while Zach and Jonah laugh. We turn the corner of the street and make our way over to their apartments. The door swings open and I can hear a loud noise that sounds like Jack, with a gun noise which I'm hoping is only Fortnite. Corbyn's voice interrupts his. A smile forms on my lips knowing that they're both here. Suddenly, Daniels head pops out of the kitchen door.
"Hey guys, Y/N wassup." Daniel greets me. I have been friends with the guys for a while now. My uncle happened to work with the company that the boys worked with for their merch. One day we all ended up at an office together. Firstly, me and Jonah hit it off since he is so great to chat to. He introduced me to the others and we hung out all day since they only had one meeting and then got bored; like every other teenager would. Anyway they're all great friends to me, especially since I don't have many other great friends around me. I walk over and Daniel pulls me in for a bro hug; they treat me like I am another lad/bro to them. I've helped wing-man some of them before, it's fun. I follow the sound of the other two guys, finding them playing Fortnite together with Zach now watching them too. I place myself sat next to Zach.
"Oh my god, you guys are lame." I tell them as Jacks player jumps and almost gets shot.
"I bet I'm better than you." Jack says to me with no emotion or change in his face.
"Stop talking! It's distracting." Corbyn gradually says, trying to focus souly on the game. I laugh at them before watching again.
"Oh, Y/N, did I show you this from the other day?" Zach bursts into life as he grabs his phone out.
"I don't know, what is it?" I ask.
"It's Jack in the hotel room"
"Oh no dude!" Jack suddenly stops, turns from the game to look at Zach. "Don't show her that!"
"JACK!" Corbyn yells before his character begins boxing Jacks player in a shelter for protection.
"Oh shit sorry." Jack goes back to playing.
"Wait I want to see it now." I jump at Zach's arm like a puppy. A smirk grows on Zach's lips as he swipes up into his memories on Snapchat. He finds the video and shows me. I almost fall off my chair at Jack being and absolute embarrassment but hilarious at the same time, all the while with Zachs commentary.
"Zach!" Jack says limply.
"Come on, it's hilarious." Zach tells his best friend as we calm ourselves down from laughing. "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want one?" He asks me.
"Yeah, just some water please." I ask. Zach nods before using my leg to help him stand up. Usually, I wouldn't think anything of this and would go back to watching Jack and Corbyn suck at Fortnite. But not right now. Because you see, the moment Zach's fingers gripped my leg, I felt a sudden race of heart and a swirl in my stomach. My eyes widen. Oh... oh no. Oh shit no. Is all I can think. Ok it's normal, a hot boy touched your leg, it's normal to feel a spark of energy. I tell myself, knowing I'm lying to try and make myself feel less sick.
"Here you go." Zach's voice comes up behind me. I turn and take the glass of water from him. He smiles and I smile back involuntarily, feeling my cheeks heat; I hate myself right now.
"Thanks." I say trying not to gaze at him while he sits next to be, also while trying not to tense my whole body up, while also trying not to freak out and overreact about this whole situation.
But after that first time, it just kept happening. I would catch myself in the moment, and have that same feeling of oh... oh no, not again.
One time, that happened pretty much straight after the first, was this:
"I think it's time I need to get going guys." I say to the group standing up to leave. Whilst stretching, I drop my final Pizza crust into the box.
"What? You won't stay a little longer?" Daniel asks. I shake my head.
"You forget that I still have school and mountains of homework that I still have to pretend to do." I tell them as I collect my stuff. They chuckle.
"Ommmm that's naughty Y/N." Jack says in a childish whine. I walk over to him and give him a quick hug, I do the same to Daniel, then to Jonah, then to Corbyn. Then I reach Zach. He stands up and leads me to the door. This action is normal for a friend to do, but suddenly I realise the absence of other people; it's only me and Zach. I take a deep breath, it was only a one time thing, I don't have feelings for Zach, it's just because he's cute. I tell myself. Finally we reach the door and Zach opens it. Before I can leave, he pulls me in for a goodbye-hug. I accept it and wrap my arms around his body. Then oh... oh no, not again. I feel his fingertips graze the bare skin on my back, accidentally exposed, it sends my heart running. We pull away almost immediately, I smile and exit quickly.
"Bye." I say in haste. Without turning back I race to my car.
That same night, I told myself that it was just that day. The next time I saw him, everything would go back to normal and I would be fine around Zach again. However:
