25 - Neglected

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The second Lylas returned her to London, Alana made note to book a doctors appointment. Before he had left her, Alana still couldn't fully grab his attention. It was obvious his mind was focused back to his realm.

Alana wanted to inquire whether he was going to let Natan's father into his lotus spring. However, seeing as how the presence of Natan had literally disarmed him. She thought otherwise.

Besides it was none of her business, his relationship with the fairie realms was sorely between him and that woman.

Before he left, Lylas promised he will be back the next morning. And so the minute he left, Alana made sure her appointment could allow two people in one room.

The next day however, he didn't come back as promised. Alana waited for him until the very last few minutes before she had to drive to the NHS.

One would think by now she would be used to waking up in disappointment, because of his absence. However, the last few months Alana had become accustomed to waking up with his arms around her and hearing his breath beside her. She became used to the feeling of his embrace.

Alana didn't think his absence would affect her as this much, but it really took a toll on her. He broke his promise.

Alana finally realised how she threw her guard away because of him. It only took his touch to virtually dismantle that guard and make her heart hope again. Even by showing a slightest of kindness towards her, her heart would run amok because of him.

And yet each time her heart grew with love for him, it subjected itself to an agonising heartbreak.

Because of the hormones, everything felt sensitive and so Alana cried that morning. She truly and finally realised that despite his caring ways for her recently, she will never become his. She will never occupy his heart.

Pull yourself together! She begged herself. She'd always known there wasn't room for her in his heart. Didn't she decided she didn't care? Didn't she decide she will still love him? Besides, there was something important she had to give him. Something she had to be strong for in the next nine or ten months in order to fulfil this gift to him.

***

  "So your test result came back positive, Alana. Congratulations you are pregnant...We'll now have to move to the ultra sound scan room and see exactly how far along you are...If you'd follow me." Alana's doctor, although seeming to be in a rush, confirmed her pregnancy that morning.

Not that Alana hadn't believed Mena or Lylas before, but having a doctor—someone's who used methods she was used to—to confirm this to her made her feel overwhelmed suddenly.

As she followed the doctor, it truly and finally hit Alana that she was pregnant. Her body was actually carrying a human being inside her. Yesterday Lylas had said to her it was one baby she was carrying so far. Their baby.

Alana was overwhelmed with emotions. One part felt exhilarated that she had made a child with Lylas, while the other part felt anguished that she will never meet this child.

Once they got to the ultrasound scan room, the doctor instructed her to lie down. She did as instructed and pulled her shirt up to reveal her small budding stomach from her shirt.

The doctor then squeezed the cold liquid on her abdomen and began probing with the scan.

"How is he, doctor?" She asked curiously.

"It's bit early to tell the gender, Alana." She told her.

"I know, I just have a hunch." Alana smiled at her doctor.

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