The Marriage Deal.

Take Twenty-Five.

"If you're my Jack, then I'm your Rose. And I promise I will never ever let go." - Skylar Grey.

25|

Things cooled down after a while, which I was sort of thankful for. I won't pretend I didn't love when it was heated up, but it was safer when we were calm and not horny. These past few days, the wind could blow and I would be turned on. I didn't realize cutting myself off from sex would come back to bite me so hard.

We were on the couch, I was eating my ice cream and he was eating his fettuccine. And we were finally going to watch the video. Although, my mind couldn't stop replaying what happened back in the kitchen, what he said. He didn't outright say he had feelings for me or anything like that, but I couldn't pretend like what he said meant nothing. It did; I just wasn't certain what.

He pressed play but I was still distracted by my thoughts. I wasn't too worried anyway, since I watched it already. My brain just wouldn't shut off. I had a horrible habit of over thinking and making things out to be the exact opposite of what they were or I would make the situation deeper than it actually is. That is exactly what was happening now.

If I wasn't thinking about what he said then I was thinking about the kiss and how much further I wanted to go. It was utterly embarrassing how much of a horn dog I was turning into.

"Wow," Derick spoke, snapping me back to reality. I turned my head to look at him, confused. Then, I remembered he was watching the video, which was now over. "That was so.. amazing, London." He looked at me, the slight disbelief evident in both his expression and tone. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was either.

"I know, right? Emilio has truly outdone himself." I smiled, thinking about how emotional we'd all gotten earlier.

"That's Shai's boyfriend, right?" Derick asked.

"Eh.. Let's go with that." I replied, shrugging my right shoulder.

Derick snorted. "It doesn't sound like it."

"They-" I sighed, trying to think of the best way to word what I was going to say. "Their relationship is just physical for now. But it'll probably grow into something much deeper soon. I can feel it."

He nodded. "Well, good for them."

I was quiet for a while. What I wanted to say was at the tip of my tongue, but I was hesitant because I simply couldn't believe that it is what I actually wanted to say. "Do you think.. do you think we can attempt something like that? A physical relationship?" I was fiddling around with the tendrils handing from the cushion.

The shock on his face made my stomach churn excruciatingly tight. I know I shouldn't have suggested something so wild, but it was already out there. If he decided he didn't want to, I could totally respect that.

"Did you fully understand what I said back in the kitchen?" He questioned, turning his head to look at me, waiting for an answer.

"Maybe. I assumed you were trying to say I'd make a great companion." I replied, slightly skeptical of where this conversation was headed.

He nodded. "Right. So, why would you think, after me saying that, that sex is all I want from you?"

I opened my mouth to answer then I snapped it back shut a second later. "I-I don't know.. I just assumed-"

"Exactly. Stop assuming for a second." He told me. "Ask. Ask me what it is that I want from you, with you.."

I froze. My eyes were still plastered on him. Where exactly was he headed with all of this? I wasn't worried or scared, mainly nervous. What if I ended up admitting my newfound feelings for him? I don't think I was ready.