Hetalia One-shots

PruCan

Canada x Insecure!Prussia Requested by: SuperPotterJackson3

Third Person POV

Stupid. Pale. Freak! Thoughts like these often blur through Gilbert's mind, and he tries to escape them. A single tear escapes his face as he runs to his bedroom, eyeing his two most used possessions, his phone, and his blade. His eyes dart between them, and the thought of his younger brother Ludwig flash through his mind, so he reaches out and grabs his phone, stuffing the blade away in a hidden spot. 

Gilbert turns on his soothing playlist filled with classical music that his cousin Roderich got him into. He folds his hands over his knees, tucking himself in a ball on his bed, surrounded by blankets. He feels safer here, and lets the music envelope him as he silently cries himself to sleep, where he dreams of nothing but kind people with soft hearts, who do not care about his looks. 

But what Gilbert really wished he could do was to one day look at himself and not care. Took look himself in the mirror and not care about what he looks like. All his life he had been taught that his albinism was ugly, and that his red eyes were demonic. And he believed every word. Gilbert hated how he looked, hated how perfect his brother was compared to him. He was envious not specifically of Ludwig, but of the love he received compared. Gilbert looked in the mirror at himself, all exposed. He frowned at the disgusting pink and red scars on his sensitive skin, his thighs lined with what he had done. It had been awhile since he cut. Gilbert decided to skip school for today, despite Ludwig's coaxing. 

Then there's Ludwig. Oh, Ludwig! He seemed to be the only one to care about Gilbert, at least that's what he thought. Gilbert was convinced his father hated him, convinced that everyone thought he was horrible. Except Ludwig. It broke Gilbert slightly to be worrying his brother with his habit of skipping school and self-harm. But today...he couldn't face them today. Not after all the taunting yesterday. "Ugly" was the most used word and it had been said by someone who only bullied Gilbert, and no one else. 

Gilbert sighed, not bothering to get ready for the day. He stayed in a tank top and pajama pants and decided to get up and do something. For when he was stressed, Gilbert made himself food to eat, and with the limited ingredients, he made pancakes. As the batter turned golden brown, Gilbert took them off, and started eating. Just sitting there, eating his chocolate chip pancakes, made him feel better. He sighed, knowing that it would be another four hours until he had human interaction. His tutor, Matthew, would definitely still come over to his house, even though Gil was absent at school. It was Matthew's job to make sure Gilbert didn't fail Senior Year, after all.  

Gilbert turned on some cartoons and watched contently, even though they were very kiddish and simply stupid to his peers. Watching things like this relaxed Gil, and he droned away regardless. 

Sooner than Gilbert had wanted, his doorbell rang. It was Matthew, he knew, for Ludwig wouldn't have knocked and was probably out weightlifting with his friends anyway. Gilbert groaned, and got out of his comfortable blanket to answer. Matthew smiled, and gave a quiet "Hello," to which Gilbert responded with a small half-smile despite his current mood. Matthew always had a way to make things better. 

"You aren't sick, Gilbert," Matthew remarked, setting his bag down and settling by Gilbert. 

"Yeah, I know," Gilbert replied, making no attempt to deny it. Matthew thought it best not to pry. 

The two worked for a while, getting done with most of the homework. Gilbert was surprised - it seemed that all this tutoring was finally paying off, as he started to understand some of his schoolwork. Then they got to math.