Believe, Faith and Love

Routine check up

I was in the waiting room of my local hospital reading a magazine. My monthly check up had arrived and I wasn't looking forward to it. While my last two check ups were routine blood tests this one required a lumbar puncture. I was used to it although I was still nervous. What if they pick up something this time? What if there is a slight trace of a return? Would I be back into twenty four seven monitoring? Would I have to go back to Sydney and stay there in that hospital? I tried to muster up good and positive thoughts but I just couldn't.

"Could you stop bouncing your leg, the whole bench is shaking. Anyone would think your worried". Will chuckled. I looked at him and his smile faltered.

"Look you didn't have to be here, I said I was going to come myself so if you don't like me bouncing my leg there's the exit" I spat at him. I was going to do this myself however my mother wouldn't let me come alone.

"Sorry" he replied softly. I stop bouncing my leg and looked at him.

"What if I don't leave here today. My last three months of study were pointless." I replied expressing my worries.

"So you are worried? Don't think like that, stay positive. You'll be done before I know it" he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I'm trying I really am but I can't think of one positive thing yet" I said frustratedly.

"Alright how about this, close your eyes" I looked at him for a moment thinking it was a type of trick decided i might as well listen and closed my eyes. "Think about your classes, your professors, think about your own space you have, think about your brother, your parents, think about friends you've made, think about me." He spoke softly. I felt a small smile pull at my lips when he finished talking. I pictured all I have achieved in the last three months, how I decorated my side of the room, hung up posters that I've never been able to do. How I've freely been able to walk to the local cafe and sit and have a coffee with a book by myself.

"Better now?" Will asked. I had almost forgotten he was there next to me.

"Better" I whispered. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me. I went to ask him what he was smiling at when a nurse called my name. We both stood and followed her to a room.

"Here we are, if you can change into the gown please. You can leave your underwear on but just take off your shirt and bra. Wait on the bed when your done and the doctor will be in shortly." She turned around and walked out of the room without even a glance.

I looked at the gown and around the room, there was no change area. I looked at Will and before I could say anything he said "I'll leave the room, did you want me to be in there when they do the puncture?" He asked.

I thought about it for a second. "Yes, I'll open the door once I'm changed" I replied. I didn't want to have a needle in my spine by myself. I needed a hand to hold.

I shut the door when he left and began to change. My hands shook as I took my top off and over my head. It took me a few tries but I managed to in clasp my bra. I slipped the gown over my head and with my left hand held the back shut. I felt over exposed and wasn't sure it was appropriate for Will to be in here seeing me like this.  None the less I opened the door and sat on the bed as he walked in.
Directly behind him was the doctor and the same nurse that showed us to the room.

"Good morning Miss Evans are you ready?" He asked sitting down at the computer next to the bed.  I nodded and said nothing.

The nurse brought the tray over to the bed, the tray was filled equipment I've seen many times.

"Alright roll over to your side facing your boyfriend please" the doctor said. No formalities just straight to the point. I went to object to the assumption he made but was stopped short when He helped me moved to my side with a gentle push and moved my gown to the side so it was exposing my back and half my tummy.  Any higher and my breasts would have been flashing everyone. Feeling a little exposed I wrapped my free arm over my tummy. I felt a hand on my other hand and looked to see Will staring softly at me.