Find me

Chapter 16

I ran, ran out of that building, stumbling over my feet.
"Wait," Eric said, he ran after me, reaching out to stop me. But I pushed past him and headed down to the beach. I sank to the ground and sat in the sand, holding my frustration in the palm of my hand, cold air hitting my face, the ocean was quiet. I could hear just the rushing of waves. There were no stars, the sky was cloudy this night. But nothing was working. I still felt the ache from the look which everybody gave me inside. I stood up and went toward the ocean. I closed my eyes and dipped my toe in. The water was colder than I thought. I wasn't a swimmer. I didn't know how to swim, but all I wanted was for these waves to take out all my pain, disbelief, sadness, and frustration which I was feeling from my first day of college till now. I continued in the ocean, took a big step, and then another. The water was up to my knees. It was low tide, and I was shivering. It was stupid. I didn't know how to swim. I didn't know what I was doing. I wished I was with my friend and father at my house, talking, laughing, and dancing. Life was so much easy there, with no frustration, no rejection. My life was so simple before, not like this of course. If I was with her at my home then Alison, my best friend would never leave me like this. When I was 12 years old. I got a C in maths, this was the first time when I got C. I cried all that night. I locked myself in the room and couldn't talk to anyone, that was a bad day for me. I always wanted to be on top, and getting a C in maths was not my style.
Nobody was allowed into my room, except Alison. She stayed that night, talking to me, trying to make me laugh. She told the story, that how two best friends were stuck in one room and then a big monster came, trying to eat them but both of the girls fought together, and make him run away. Alison's story always ended up laughing, it always had a funny ending. I liked being around her. She was the only one who know how I felt. I missed her badly. All I want is to hug her, cried on her shoulder until her top got wet, then she told some story, and they end up laughing.
Alison always makes me laugh. We are not just friends but sisters from different mothers. Alison was perfect in every field. She is the best in her studies. She has lots of friends, wherever she goes, she makes new friends. She has great fashion sense, she always helps her in selecting my outfits.
My thoughts break when one high tide hit me. I stumbled, it was the big one, the waves hit directly on my leg and I faltered but someone grabbed me by arms, heaved me up, over its shoulder.
"Put me down" I screamed "Who the hell are you?" I was trying to jerk my body off but couldn't able to do it "Put me down, you asshole". And my wish had been granted. It dropped me down, right in the sand, right on my butt " Ow! That was very painful, you jerk" I yelled. I turned my head up, and I didn't expect him here, in this way, but he is here, right in front of me. It was Dorian. He shook his head and turned away from me. His jeans were wet, and so was my dress. He was leaving. What does he want, first he came like a superhero, help me, save me and then leave me like useless stuff.
"Wait" I yell. I pushed my sandy hair out of my face and took a deep breath.
He turned around but didn't say anything, maybe waiting for me to speak. His expression was unreadable, stony like always.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
He twisted his head "What you are doing here alone?" He shoots back.
"I asked you first" I paused "Why did you let me out of the ocean," I asked again, standing in front of him, face to face. Suddenly, I noticed his blue eyes, that how amazing they are, whenever I looked into them. I went to another world. His eyes are like, there are in so much pain, so much grief. 
"Because nobody will be interested in pulling your dead body out of the ocean when you drown," he said. I blinked and look away. I didn't know what always happened to me when he was around. It was like everything is perfect but then look like everything was worthless.
"I was not drowning" I replied.
"But you will if I wouldn't come".
"Oh, so you think you are a life saver" I crossed my eyes at him.
He frowned and looked toward the house. "I think you should go back now".
"I'm not going anywhere and stop acting like you care anything," I said and moved away from him. He clenched his jaw but didn't say anything.
"I hate this place, I hate these people, I hate being here, I miss my home" my voice was high and frustrated
I wanted to cry, but I tried hard not to because I hate crying in front of anyone.
"Just go inside" he commanded again
" No- no... I'm not going, You're not my boss whose order I have to follow always " I yelled, and start moving away from him.
He grabbed my wrist and pulls me back "I told you to go inside, don't you get this" he said under his teeth.
"Stop yelling at me" I shout and jerked off his hand and pushed him back "I hate you too, I hate everyone here" I didn't know when tears start falling off my cheeks. I couldn't help it. He blinked his feature changes. "Leave me alone please" I yelled.
A flash of confusion shows in his eyes.

"I don't belong here, everyone there is special and I am... I am worthless, no use". I sank onto the sand, and pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them "I'll never belong here". He watches me for a moment
He sat down next to me, one knee up, and put his one hand upon the knee. After a short moment of silence, he said "You belong here. You always belong here" his voice was soft and calm.
I looked up at him "What?". I didn't believe how softly he said it, Few seconds before he was yelling at me and now he was sitting next to me and talking to me.
He bit his upper lip, he looked away " Just give yourself some time" his voice was so soft and sombre "Sometimes you don't get what you want, what you need".
Silvers of moonlight striking on his face, making his feature more beautiful. I found myself moving closer, straining to see him more closely and wishing he would look at me too "Do you think I am like one of you?" I asked.
He turned to watch me, moonlight fell across his face, alighting the deep cobalt in his eyes "You're more than that".
I lightly chuckle "I don't think so".

"I do"
My throat was starting to feel wobbly "How do you know that ?"
We were leaning towards each other. He didn't touch her, but something inside made me feel like maybe he wanted to. I wanted him to.
"Because I can feel it" he replied.
"No, this is ridiculous" I frowned, rubbing the pain beneath my chest I continue "You're lying, I don't think I'll be".
He jerked his head. I could see his brow was furrowed. He didn't say after that. He was watching the ocean, lost in another time. They weren't talking now so I tried to break the silence
"How do you know that I'm here?" I asked, he turned sharply towards me.
I wondered who is he, first he saved me then yelled at me and now suddenly he was calmly talking to her.
"I... I came here with my friends" he replied without looking at me, "And then I saw you, you were running towards the ocean".
"oh" I replied "Where are your friends now?"
He blinked "They are gone," he said, rubbing his forehead with his thumb.
"You should go back now, it's too late and it's not safe to be here at this time" he warned
"No, I don't want to go" I replied.
"Alice," somebody shouted my name. I turned and saw Laura running towards me. I looked back at Dorian but he was gone like he wasn't there. I blinked, moving my gaze here and there but he was nowhere. Am I dreaming? Dorian was here, talking to me and when I woke up and he was gone.
"What are you doing here, I searched you everywhere and here you are," Laura said.
I didn't reply. Because I was still looking for him.
"Hello, are you even listening to me?" Laura asked again.
"Yeah.. yeah" I gasped, feeling the same pain again, sharp and twisting "I just want to be alone".
"No, it's not safe here this time, come let's go. He's gone now".
"Who?" I turned sharply, eyes widening.
"Luke, duh !" Laura replied
"Oh, that's good".
Laura gave her hand "come on" she said, pulling me to my feet.
We went back inside. Luke was gone, everyone was gone and the living room was clean now.