The Unknown Road

49 - Archie

I WAKE UP MOMENTARILY disorientated when I open my eyes.

I can't see the horrid fluorescent lights from the hospital, and the bed is much more comfortable and spacious. There aren't any random beeps coming from machines either, as I quieten my breathing, and as my eyes focus better, I realise I'm in Tessa's room.

I thought last night had been a dream. She came to visit me in hospital and now we're here, which means it was all true, and I was truly at home.

As I look around, I realise I'd never really stayed the night here. I'd stayed in here once in January, that first weekend after I'd gone back to school after Dad had split open my back, but that was only because Tessa and I had fallen asleep, rather than us being together. No, I'd not been allowed to stay in here since Tessa and I got together, for obvious reasons, although I'd done my fair share of sneaking in in the morning.

Unsure of what time it is, I roll away from Tessa gently, making sure I didn't disturb her. She's a light sleeper, but when I push off the bed to go to the loo, she doesn't wake. When I come out of the bathroom, she's turned over, obviously looking for me unconsciously in her sleep but, again, isn't awake. Her mouth has formed a tiny O and she is breathing gently, barely snoring. She was no doubt exhausted after the excitement of yesterday.

When I walk around the room, I'm both shocked and amazed at how much more limber I feel after sleeping in a normal bed. I'd slept well for the first time in two weeks, and I almost feel like a completely new person. After one night in Tessa's bed, I feel so much more refreshed than I had done when waking up in hospital.

More than anything though, I was just getting frustrated with how I would never seem to be making any progress in there; every time I did they had to go back and do tests. And the 'routine' they had me in was beginning to drive me nuts.

Every hour the nurse would come in to check my blood pressure and do my observations, and then I'd just sit all day until Tessa came to see me after school, when I would do my physical exercises. The doctors had tried to get me to do it without them, but they said I was much more motivated when she was around... and I can't say they were wrong.

I was feeling fat as well. I'd been eating horrible, stodgy hospital food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and then Tessa would bring me treats over to snack on as well. When I couldn't sleep, I'd eat them all night whilst watching The Simpsons on the tiny TV in the corner and I just wanted to walk around. I wanted to do something, anything, but all the nurses kept telling me to do was take it easy. I was sick of taking it easy.

But enough was enough. I needed to come home. I needed to be outside.

When we got outside this morning, before we walked to the bus stop, the cold night air was like a kick to the guts. But feeling the way I do this morning, it was clearly the kick I needed to finally realise I was ready to go home.

And that's what Tessa was doing for me. She was bringing me home.

Bringing me home to her.

I look at her, still asleep, her hair covering her face, and I smile.

This girl. This incredible girl has been fighting my corner, against everything, through everything, and I could feel my heart swell with how much I love I have for her. I love her so much it makes me feel giddy.

She's everything to me. She's my heart, my home, my shining light, my beacon...

If I lost her now, I don't know what I'd do.

But that's just it. I might lose her. Any day now they're ruling on whereabouts Millie and I are set to live for the next year, until I turn eighteen, and the thought of not being able to see her every day makes me feel empty and nauseous.