After about ten days, my old apartment was ready to be lived in. I went back without hesitation. It was a mess. Although the firemen already cleaned some of the ashes, it was still covered in dust. When I first went back there, I found the remains of the unhappy event.
My bedroom on the second floor was not so damaged. There were four or five different night gowns laid out for me. They were probably specially laid out for me to choose for the party. Down in the living-room, I could see clearly why this was thought to be a suicide.
The points where the fire started was marked out clearly. There were five in all, surrounding something in the middle. I asked about that, and it turned out Zach was in the center of the circle. With the fire starting from all around him, there was no way he could escape without being burned to dust.
I went around the room now, already rearranged most of the mess. I left the blackened decorations where they were, though. They were something to remember him by. I would get them down after I could bear his absence, I guess.
When I first came out of the hotel room, I was a little worried about the differences in my looks. I kept wishing that nobody notices these. To my surprise, the wish came true, even though it was so bizarre.
The apartment was almost back to usual now, and Amy came here a lot to make me feel better. I haven’t started my plans revenging Zach yet. One reason was I had no idea who killed him. The only thing I knew was it couldn’t be an ordinary human being like the students or even burglars. So it must be someone who had the strength, or talent, or the identity Zach would let him near.
The other reason was that I wanted to wait until the funeral. The goodbyes didn’t count until he was buried. Maybe it was my desperately wanting to keep Zach for a little longer. He was my brother, after all.
Two weeks after Zach’s suicide, the funeral was held. I bought him the coffin he always wanted for a very different reason. Probably this would be the only funeral held for a vampire. I thought grimly as I walked by the coffin. Even the clouds seemed somber.
The line behind me was not long. Only me, some close friends like Lucy and Amy, and Kerwin, to my surprise. Usually, the whole town walked behind the coffin of a dead person, but Zach was not very out-going when he was alive, and they didn’t seem to have much sympathy for a person who committed suicide.
The funeral was short and simple. The coffin was perhaps the most expensive of all in this event. I could see why Zach liked it. It was made of elder, his favorite kind of wood, and painted black. A simple but beautiful white lily was drawn on the top.
I remembered when he first told me about this coffin. “Adele, it was like the combination of everything I could ask for! My favorite color, wood and flower! Oh, I could just be buried in this coffin!” He was so excited when he came in, saying these words out loud. Neither I nor he imagined his words to come true. I still remembered yelling at him for paying for such an expensive and unnecessary thing until he agreed to cancel it.
The gravediggers were hired by Kerwin, actually. He said he wanted to do something for me. I watched them as they covered Zach with earth. Strangely, I felt as if his soul was slipping away from my hands, like I could feel it as a solid thing. I watched him until he was completely buried under the grave. In a sudden, I had a feeling everything was slipping away like he was.
The tomb stone was white, only Zach’s name was carved on it. No one knew his family name, or his birth day. They counted on me to write something on the stone to remember him by. I came up with nothing. He never talked to me about these kinds of stuff. He never thought he would die, I guess.
He also had a pretty strong feeling with writings on the tomb stones. He once told me firmly as we walked pass the graveyard: “I don’t think I will be buried there, but I think the idea of writing things on the tomb stones a complete waste of time. You can make up almost everything after a person dies. You can say a liar a justified person if you want to. I think the only useful thing is the name. People will remember you if you are good, even if there is nothing written on the stone.”
I didn’t know his opinion on tombstones would come of use in such a short time.
I stood alone in front of the grave after everyone else left. They probably thought I would like some time alone with Zach for the last time.
Standing before him, I searched in my head every minute living with him. His perfume, his taste on clothing, his unstopping command for fresh blood, even his comments that I always labeled with “I hate it” now seemed like a thousand years ago.
I walked steadily back towards my apartment now, not our apartment. I didn’t think anything could be right again, as half of my family was gone. However, I wouldn’t let myself think about that any longer since the funeral ended. If I couldn’t even control my own feelings, how would I be able to avenge Zach?
I walked on and on, not even paying attention to the rough road. The grief opened the entrance to the other me, the one with stunning out-look and the cold and hard heart inside.
Wow. My cousin is very diligent with her updates. Makes me feel so bad :( How do you guys like it so far?
