A Cutter's Lullaby (Chris Motionless Story)

Chapter 18

When Chris saw me step inside he waved me over before moving to the other side of the booth, sitting next to the girl. As I took my seat across from them I finally saw her face and I had to admit she was beautiful. Her hair was platinum blonde with a black underside, her skin was almost as pale as mine, and her eyes were a sky blue.

"Hey it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Lily." She greets me in the same warm voice I had heard last night.

"Same here, I'm Nicole."

"How are you liking living with this creep so far?" She questioned with a grin, shoving him playfully with her shoulder.

I fought off the jealousy and sadness that overcame me before answering her, "It's been alright."

She gave a small laugh, "Well you should try going on tour with him and his band, let me tell you it's anything but alright, he's the biggest baby on the planet."

"Oh thanks." Chris murmured with a fake pout.

She stuck her tongue out at him before turning it into a smile and I decided it was best to stay quiet right then.

"So why don't you tell me about yourself?" She asked reaching over to touch my hand that had been resting on the table top and when she did I yanked it away out of reflex.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"No, it's okay. Chris told me you don't like physical contact."

I glanced over at him while he quickly turned to her, giving her a disbelieving look.

"What else did he tell you?" I asked cautiously.

She frowned slightly before saying, "It's alright Nicole, he'll help you get better. You don't need to hurt yourself anymore."

I was speechless after that, why did he tell her?

Before she could speak again a tingling sound began and she pulled out a cellphone, "Sorry, hang on."

She stepped out of the booth and I couldn't even look at Chris; I just somehow knew that he told her more, so much more. We stayed silent until she returned and grabbed up her purse.

"I'm sorry about this guys, but something is wrong with one of the pictures apparently and I need to go check it out. I'll see you both soon."

Right before she went to leave she gave Chris a peck on the lips, so I had been right this whole time. She was Chris's girlfriend. After she was gone I got up without saying a word and left for the park. I knew he understood that I was aware of what he had done. I couldn't believe it, he had probably told her everything and I was stupid enough to trust him. To tell him things that on one else has ever known.

I kept walking even after I reached the park's trail, until I heard the sound of rushing water and I eventually came across a beautiful old bridge that hung high over a river. I stepped onto it and made my way to the middle before sitting down, letting my feet dangle over the edge. It was only a few minutes later that the IPhone in my pocket started buzzing and I pulled it out to see that Chris was calling. At the moment all I wanted to do was toss the device in the current below, but I knew I couldn't since it wasn't mine. I just slid it back in my jeans and tried to ignore the vibrating against my leg.

I'm not sure why every time I'm on top of something tall I think about jumping off of it, even when I don't want to die. I am sure that if I did jump off this bridge, death would be a guarantee. Sighing deeply, I knew that I shouldn't and didn't want to be having these thoughts. I gazed down the river until it started getting dark and decided that I should be heading back by now. On the walk there I dreaded the conversation I knew I would have with Chris, it would most likely end up being a fight. As mad as I should be with this situation I found myself tired, maybe this was all turning out to be a mistake. Maybe I should've stayed in Kentucky and I wouldn't be in this mess right now.

Right when I went to open the door to Chris's apartment I found him right in the doorway and before I could ask him what he was doing he began asking me all sorts of questions.

"Where did you go? Are you alright? Why would you just leave like that?"

"I went to sit on a bridge in the park and yes I'm fine. As for why I left? Shouldn't it have been obvious?" I tell him as I step inside and started to head for my room. All I wanted to do was change out of my sweater and jeans and go to bed.

He sighed, "Look, I know you're mad-"

"If you knew that would make me mad then why did you do it?" I question cutting him off.

"I didn't think Lily would just bring it up like that, I told her not to mention it."

"That's not the point, I told you those things because I thought I could trust you to keep them to yourself. Clearly I was wrong." After that I didn't give him a chance to say anything back to me and went into my room, burying my face in a pillow as I screamed out of frustration.

I laid in that position for more than an hour, or at least it felt that way as I thought about what my life might be like right now if I had never met Chris and left the hell hole that I used to call home. I would still have no friends, I'd probably still be living with my dad, and I most likely would have already managed to hit an artery by now. So I came to the understanding that living here was still so much better than where I was, even with my problems with Chris. I had friends, a fairly good peace of mind, and unfortunately a very large crush on a taken rock star.

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Okay guys so this will be my last frequent update for a while since I'm starting my classes for college tomorrow (I am so stressed :/) Just thought I should let you know. To the side I have Ira Vampira (don't judge me) protraying Lily.