After School | Markjinson

0.31

It's been a week since school ended for winter break, a week since Jackson left for Hong Kong and a week since Jinyoung or Mark have heard anything from Jackson. They weren't worried though, they just assumed Jackson was focused on spending time with his family and mourning his grandparents. They didn't know but Jackson left Hong Kong earlier than he anticipated, he boarded the next flight home and eagerly awaited his arrival. He loved the fact that he got to see his family though he wished it was under better circumstances, he promised that he would visit more often not just when something bad happened in the family. Of course, to leave a week earlier than he previously promised, he told a small lie but it was totally worth it as Jackson was completely whipped for his two boyfriends and he wants to do nothing more than spend time with them on the holidays. 

Jackson wasn't the only one to leave early, Jinyoung's father also had to leave way earlier than he wanted. His company had completely dismissed his wishes to have the holidays off and sent him to seal a deal with some investors in Europe, saying it was urgent to the company. He promised Jinyoung he would make it up to him but Jinyoung knew that it was a lie. He had said the same thing the previous year, the year before that and the year before that. Jinyoung was used to not seeing his father anytime, including the holidays but it hurt him. Once, just once he wanted to spend the holiday with his father, he even wished that he could spend the holidays with his mother but that was just wishful thinking. There was no way he could spend the holidays with his mother. 

This was going to be Mark's first holiday without his parents. He knows he should get over it but it still hurt him a lot that he won't spend anytime with them. He won't help his mother make Christmas dinner, or help his dad hang up the ridiculous amount of decorations they have, he won't go pick up his older siblings at 2 am from the airport. Mark wouldn't get to do the previously annoying things that made the holidays feel just right to him and that left a hole in his heart. 

____

Jinyoung was lying in his bed, alone. His eyes were a bright scarlet from days of crying and tiredness, his raven hair was disheveled, he reeked. Jinyoung hasn't left his bed in days, he hasn't eaten or slept, he only contacted his friends and boyfriend enough for them to not worry.

He should be happy. 

He should right? It's "the happiest time of the year." 

It wasn't so easy for Jinyoung to be happy, it never has been. He found himself faking smiles, and faking happiness to the point where he didn't know what was real anymore. Could there have been moments when it was real? Yes, but he couldn't tell the difference anymore. He felt a pit grow in his soul everyday, every night, every minute and every second. 

    "If you ever need someone to talk to though, I'm here. I will try to help you the best I can."   

You know Jinyoung, he doesn't really care. You are probably like a charity case to that man. 

"God, I hope your asleep if you're not don't tell me! I'll get embarrassed. Jinyoung, I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing. I love the way your eyes sparkle when talking about something you are passionate about and I love how when you are on stage it's like it was built for you. I love how you sneak glances at me when you don't think I notice and I love the way you slightly pout your lips when reading. I am completely and utterly whipped for you."  

He's lying Jinyoung. Who could love such a flawed person like you? Pathetic to think he actually loves you. Just like his last boyfriend he will throw you away.

  "I'm not the best with words but Jinyoung you are one of the most beautiful, intelligent, kind, amazing, savage, talented person I've ever met. You are perfect. You are beautiful. Jinyoung, I love you as you are. And I know, sometimes you may not feel like these things are true but trust me they are and I will remind how amazing you are everyday for the rest of your life if I have to. "