Always | Ashton Irwin

Chapter six.

‘Ash?’ 

‘Hmm?’ 

We were laying on his towel and the sun made me feel lazy and relaxed. Luke and Calum just came back with some delicious ice cream and we were all silent, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the cold of our ice creams. The problem was, when it was silent I got time to think and there was this question that has been spooking through my mind all day.

‘When are you guys going back?’ I asked in a whisper.

I felt him stiffen beside me, he sucked in a breath and pulled me closer to him. 

‘Can we please not talk about this right now,’ he begged. 

His reaction scared me, did this mean they would be going back soon? Well yeah probably.. I didn’t knew what to expect, they were still touring and I knew they had some days off sometimes but it was never more than just a few days.

I watched his face carefully ‘Okay, but you have to tell me sooner or later. I don’t think I can handle it if you say you’re leaving the same day that you actually leave me again.’ 

He sighed and closed his eyes ‘I don’t want to leave you Ali, can we please talk about this when we get home. I want to enjoy every single moment I have with you. And thinking about leaving makes me sad and angry so-‘ 

I pressed my fingers against his lips to stop him from talking.

‘Stop Ash, It’s fine we will talk about it later okay?’ 

He nodded and gave me a small smile. 

‘Who wants to come swimming with me?’ Michael asked after a few more moments of silence. 

‘I’ll come with you’ I said when no one else answered. 

I got up from the towel and followed Michael towards the sea. 

‘What’s on your mind Ali?’

I raised my eyebrows at him ‘What do you mean?’ 

‘You know exactly what I mean, don’t play dumb with me. I know you better then you think!’ 

I sighed and dived under water to cool off a bit. 

‘I don’t really know, it’s just I missed Ash so much and thinking about you guys leaving again drives me crazy. And lately I’ve also been confused about my feelings, I just don’t know what they mean.’ 

‘Feelings? What kind of feelings?’ 

I shrugged ‘Like I said, I don’t really know. I’ve just been thinking different things than normal.’ 

Michael eyes widened ‘About Ash?’ 

‘Yeah..’ 

‘Are you in love with him?’ 

‘What? No of course not, he’s my best friend.’ 

He smirked ‘That doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with him.’ 

My thoughts were going crazy, this couldn’t be happening. I knew it would make sense of some of the confusing feelings and thoughts but I knew Ash for almost ten years now and I just couldn’t fall in love with my best friend.

‘I’m not in love with Ash, I can’t be.’ 

Michael raised his eyebrows at me and he smirked again ‘Sure Ali, whatever you want.’ 

I felt like crying. My feelings really confused me and thinking about the possibility of me being in love with Ash only confused me more. And then above all of this, the boys would be gone again in a few days or maybe even in a few hours and I didn’t know if I could handle a goodbye again. Without saying a word to Michael I walked out of the sea. Right now I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry but I knew I couldn’t do that with the others only meters away from me. 

‘Ali!’ 

Michael ran after me and grabbed my wrist. I bit my lip and slowly turned around to face him. His eyes softened when he saw the look on my face and without saying anything else he took me in his arms. 

‘Ali, I’m sorry I said that okay? I only wanted to help you figure your feelings out.’ 

I buried my head in his shoulder and swallowed my tears away. 

‘It’s fine Mikey, don’t worry about it. You didn’t said anything wrong, my thoughts are just driving me crazy and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ 

‘There’s nothing wrong with you Ali, it’s normal to be confused about your feelings and it’s also very normal to be upset about all of this. You’re a strong girl Ali, you’ve been through so much and I admire your strength. And I know you break down sometimes but that’s only human and you always get on your feet again. Don’t ever forget how strong you are,’ Michael said softly. 

Tears welled up in my eyes and some escaped and made their way over my cheek ‘Thank you Mikey.’ 

He smiled and kissed my forehead ‘Now don’t cry Ali, you’re so much more beautiful when you smile.’ 

I whipped my tears away and together we walked back to the others. Ashton had a worried look on his face and as soon as we reached the towels he opened his arms for me. 

‘Are you okay?’ he asked when I cuddled into him. 

I nodded ‘Yeah, I am now.’ 

‘You know I can see your lying right?’ 

‘I’m not lying.’ 

‘Then why did you cry?’ 

I sighed ‘I don’t want to talk about it, can you please let it go for now? I’m with you now so I’m fine.’ 

Ash smiled and pulled me closer to him ‘Okay, but you know I’ll find out about it eventually.’ 

I rolled my eyes and let my head rest against his chest. His steady heartbeat calmed me.  

‘I know Ash, I know.’

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I hope you guys enjoy the story as much as I love writing it (: xx