Never Beside You × 5SOS

Conscious - Chp. 21B

(disclaimer: this is an alternative ending connected to the chapter "Beside You")

Michael

After purposely ignoring the 10th call from Ashton, I finally turn my airplane mode on. I need silence.

The wind freshens up and I sit down in the sand, watching the waves build up and crash when they hit the rocks over and over again. This is my favorite place in Sydney, no one ever comes here and I can sort my thoughts without being disturbed.

They aren't easily sort out at the moment, though. The beach brings back memories from Zandvoort in Amsterdam, where Jade and I watched the stars from on top of the van.

I wish I could go back in time. More than anything else.

I wish I could feel her presence once more.

I wish I could hold her in my arms just one more time, to say goodbye.

I didn't get to say goodbye to her back in the hospital. When I was talking to her and she said that she doesn't know me and she's never seen me before... that I should leave. That hurt more than anything else in my whole life ever did.

I wish I could see her right now. One last time.

After sitting in the sand for hours, I take my phone and search for my downloaded videos.

I choose the one that Jade made with me, when we were at her place, singing.

I remember trying so hard not to look at her all the time, but I still did quite often. I just had to. Singing with her was amazing, our voices just... fit perfectly. We had created a harmony and it was my favorite thing to do combined with my favorite person.

"Michael!"

I thought that I heard my name, but I shrug it off and keep my eyes on the screen.

"Michael!"

This time, I look up.

And now I've finally gone insane, because I see Jade running towards me.

This must be a hallucination.

She's coming closer and closer until she's standing in front of me.

I just stare at her in disbelief.

"Are you... really here?"

She nods.

I can't seem to move, as though I'm frozen.

This must be a dream.

"I... I remember you."

This can't be real.

"And I remember the accident."

I finally manage to speak.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't watch out for you. I shouldn't have parked the car there in the dark. I should've been more responsible - "

"Michael!"

This feels weird. I try to figure out what exactly is off about the situation, but then I feel a hand take mine.

I look down, but I don't see what I feel. What is going on?

Jade 

I gently take Michael's hand and hold it, like I did so many times in the past three months. I think about how I am not capable of living without him, literally. I've been up all night, worrying about him and overthinking everything.