NHL Imagines

Breathe | Dylan Strome|

The erratic beating of your heart in your chest was the first sign that something was wrong. However, you were aware of exactly what was wrong. A familiar tightness in your chest appeared, startling you as the breath was knocked out of your lungs. 

Breathe in. 

The suddenness of the attack had your mind reeling. There was no warning, no early signs that could have told you to start your coping mechanisms. There was no time to control the panic before it set in. 

Breathe out.

You had been doing so well. The therapy was working to minimize the attacks. It had been weeks since you'd had a panic attack and it was so mild, it felt like nothing. Dylan had been so proud when you had told him about your progress. Now, your progress was erased and you were back to the starting line. 

Breathe in.

You could hear your therapist's voice in your head. Find your trigger, talk through it. The trembling started. Your mind was empty, feeling impossibly full yet no distinct thought breaking through. You could feel yourself sink to the ground but you couldn't focus. 

Breathe out. 

You needed Dylan. He knew how to break through to you; how to fight through the haze and pull you back to reality. Without somebody to pull you back, you just sunk further into your own mind. 

Breathe in. 

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Repeat it until your heart slows. You knew the drill. It was what everyone told you to do, especially at the beginning. The trembling in your hands moved through your entire body until you were laying scared and alone on the floor, shaking and unable to slow your breathing.

Breathe out.

A hand on your shoulder frightened you. Without noticing, Dylan had gotten home from practice. The distant voice had to have been Dylan's but you couldn't focus on a word he was saying. You couldn't focus on anything around you. 

Breathe in.

Suddenly, you could feel Dylan's body heat pressed against you as he wrapped you in a hug. Dylan had seen your panic attacks get this bad a few times before and quickly realized that you couldn't hear or see him while in the middle of one. Your hearing was distant and your eyes stayed glued shut until it was over. 

Breathe out.

It took everything in you to focus on Dylan's body heat. As your mind registered that you weren't alone, your heart slowed to its regular rhythm. A wave of exhaustion passed over your body as you leaned back into Dylan. 

Breathe in.

When your hearing became clear again, you could hear what he was murmuring. "You're okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Take a deep breath in. I love you, (Y/N)."

Weakly, you lifted your head up to look at him. There were tears in his eyes and you realized how much you had scared him. You had scared yourself. 

"Dyl, I'm okay." Your wavering voice was unconvincing.

He inhaled sharply and you could tell he thought you were still in the middle of your panic attack. 

"What happened, baby? You were doing so well." He questioned, speaking gently so he didn't alarm you.

"I don't know. It hit me out of nowhere so I had no time to use my coping strategies or call you and it might've been the most scared I've been in my life. I'm so glad you came home when you did because it might've lasted longer if you weren't here." You mumbled, still confused on how it happened so quickly. 

"I'll always be here for you. Whether you make progress and want to celebrate or you have another attack. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Trust me when I say I'll always be here to remind you to breathe." Dylan wrapped his arms around you tighter and the two of you sat on the floor, cuddled together and enjoying each other's company.