NHL Imagines

Insecurities |Jonathan Toews|

Your phone went off constantly. 

It had been this way since you started dating Jonathan three years ago. People began following you like crazy and the likes and comments rolled in.

In the beginning, all the comments were sweet and supportive. People would say that you were gorgeous and you made Johnny happier than he had been in a long time. There was the odd depreciating comment but you overlooked them and focused on the positive ones. As time went on, the fans realized that you weren't a fling and would be staying long term. That's when the excessive hate comments started.

Throughout the day you would receive dozens of hateful comments, from single sentences calling you ugly or fat to long complex paragraphs that outlined in detail everything wrong with you. It took everything in you to focus on the positive comments and pretend the negative ones had just disappeared. 

Although sometimes, they got to you.

Your day had been going exceptionally terrible. Johnny had practice in the morning so you hadn't seen him before heading to work and he had already left for his game by the time you got home. Work had been a hassle and everything that could've gone wrong, did. The constant vibrating of your phone got too much and you decided to check it before shutting it off and heading to the game.

 As soon as you opened Instagram, a flood of notifications popped up. They were all on the newest picture you'd posted. It was a recent photo of you and Johnny, skating around the rink during a family skate. He had been bugging you about getting on the ice and spent the entire evening trying not to fall over. While Johnny was holding you up, Abby, Patrick Sharp's wife took a quick picture. You loved it immediately and decided to post it.

Looking at the clock, you noticed there was some time to kill so you went scrolling through the comments. Most of the comments pointed out some of the other Blackhawks in the background or how cute you and Johnny looked. A few in particular stood out.

"You're so ugly. I have no idea why Johnny even puts up with you when he could find someone so much better. It wouldn't be hard lol. He deserves so much more than you can give him."

"Do you ever stop gaining weight?"

"You're so fake. Everyone knows you're only with Johnny for his money"

Something about these comments hurt you more than any others had. You began second guessing every opinion you had about yourself. You decided to scroll through your past comments. 

All of the negative comments were horrible but the more you read, the more you started believe every word you read. Without you noticing, tears began streaming down your face. Comments appeared one after the other, bringing up your looks, weight and relationship. The most popular word choice in the comments was "gold digger".

Time passed by incredibly fast and in what felt like minutes, there was a jingling of keys in the front door and the unmistakable sound of your boyfriend's voice.

"Babe I'm home! I thought you were coming to the game tonight?" He called as he made his way further into the house. As if his voice kick-started something in your brain, you began furiously wiping at the tears covering your face.

"(Y/N)? Are you home?" His voice was getting closer.

You were still sitting in the same spot on your's and Johnny's bed when he walked into the room. The concerned look on his face gave away his worry and you knew you hadn't done a good job at hiding the tears.

"What's wrong (Y/N)?" Johnny asked, moving to sit gently beside you.

All you could do was shake your head in reply knowing that the second you opened your mouth to speak, the waterworks would begin again. He grabbed your open phone quickly, one of the more hateful comments still on the screen. 

"Baby, why would you read this? You know none of this is true. You are the most amazing woman I've ever met."

"Johnny, you don't understand. Your fans are constantly telling me I'm ugly or I'm fat or you would do so much better without me. How am I supposed to believe anything different when it's said so often?" The tears began a steady stream down your cheeks for the second time in the span of a couple hours.

"No (Y/N), you don't understand. When I look at you, all I can see is this amazing woman who supports me and does everything she can to make my life easier. Between cheering me up when I'm upset and dealing with me when I'm ridiculously hyper, you bring out the best parts in me. You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes on and your body is perfect too. The only people you should listen to are yourself, me and the people that love you. Anybody who tries to make you feel negative about yourself isn't worth you time or tears." 

The tears were beginning to slow as Johnny held you in his arms and whispered soothing words into your ear.

"Thank you so much, Johnny. I love you."

"I love you more baby. Don't forget that."

Johnny wrapped you up in his arms and you both cuddled in your bed. He made you feel so much better about yourself when you felt terrible and you could always count on him to make your day brighter. That was one of the many things you loved about him. 

He took your insecurities and made you feel amazing about who you were.