❝In which two people call up a helpline in order to find someone just as broken as they are. ❞
"Does...does it bother you that my dad's in prison for murder?"
"Well, judging by the fact that I moved away from America to get away from the memory of a...
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Elliot walked away from the post box less heavy than when he walked up to it.
Hey dad,
I know you told me to stay away and live my life but, technically, this is a letter, so I'm going to say that it doesn't count. I just really hope you read this because you're my dad and I don't think it's right to leave things the way we did. And it's not like you need to reply or anything, I just want you to know that I don't hate you. None of us do.
I mean, sure, we're all still a bit scared. Which might be worse than hating you, I don't know, but we do kind of have the right to be. And not just because we saw you shoot a guy a couple times. But because you were such a vital part of our lives, and now we don't know how to be a family without you. Which makes sense, I guess, but you're going to be in prison for a while so I suppose we'll just have to adapt so that we don't have to depend on you so much anymore. That way you can come back home to a better family than the one you left. A stronger one. Because, in the end, what happened made us realise just how much we need each other.
And we get why you did what you did. Or, at least, I do. It took me a while at first, I'll admit, but then I put myself in your shoes. If I had a guy holding a gun to my head and threatening my family, I would take the opportunity to get me and my family to safety, even if it meant shooting him with his own gun. And maybe that makes me a bad person. That I would consider murder. But then again, maybe not. Because maybe doing something like that shows how much you love and care for your family. And that's okay. You nearly died that night, risking your life for ours and I don't know what I would have done if you had died. So, as horrible as it sounds, I'm glad you killed him. Because he probably would have killed you otherwise. And I know thinking this is incredibly selfish, because he has friends and family too who are probably grieving, but, hey, you're my dad. I'm human. I'm allowed to be a little biased and be glad that my dad is alive.
I mean, I always knew that your job was dangerous. I'd heard the stories of police officers who died trying to put criminals behind bars, but it was never really real. I'd only seen you in uniform, I'd never actually seen someone hold a gun to your head. So when I did see someone threaten your life, I was terrified. Because I didn't want to lose my dad. I still don't.
I just want you to understand that we all still love you. One night doesn't change years of being a great dad.
I mean, sure, we all struggled at first. Seeing you as a murderer was new to all of us. It still is. But now I realize that a person can be more than one thing.
You're not just some guy who shot someone. You're my dad, my super brave dad who defended and protected his family as much as he could. My dad who inspired me to be a superhero, just like he was. Because you've always inspired me, dad. You still do. You put your life on the line so that others can see justice served, and I always wanted nothing more than to be like you. I still do.
You're my hero dad, I don't care if you're behind bars or if you never want to see me again. I will always love you, and now I realize that nothing you do could ever change that. You don't become a villain just because of one bad thing, especially when you constantly apologize aftwerwards like you did.
I'm sorry for forgetting that you're a hero. I hope you can forgive me.
Love,
Your favourite son (we both know it's the truth but, don't worry, I haven't told Noah and Jacob yet),
