Not Good Enough

chapter 8

Izayah Smith.

"Man I'm out" I said soon as the girls walked in the house.

"Man stop being a baby" Reece joked.

"Ain't no one being a baby, I don't wanna be around this kind of energy" I said heading towards my room.

"Is he serious?" Nique asked as I left the room.

"Knock knock" 

"Leave me alone Clarice"

She walked in my room anyways standing by the door.

"Really Zay?"

"Really what?"

"So because she didn't answer ole boy's question you vex, its been 2 days" 

"Exactly, I haven't got nothing left to say to her Clar, seriously, she's single she can do what she wanna do"

She rolled her eyes.

"Your both as stubborn as each other seriously, you both clearly like each other and instead of acting on it you both just push each other away and is getting ridiculous now" 

"Man get outta here with that shit Clar"

"Seriously, I think you both should talk instead of being stupid, you left before you could even hear what she told him"

"She didn't say yes"

"Just fuckin talk to her and stop being a fucking baby, its been 2 fucking days"

I watched as she left my room. I rolled my eyes changing into my tank top and basketball shorts.

"Can we talk now?" 

I stayed quiet scrolling on my phone. I heard my room door lock before her footsteps got closer. I looked up slowly watching her get a pair of basket ball shorts before changing. I quickly looked away.

"Izayah seriously its been 2 days...well 1 week and 2 days now, can we talk"

I juss shrugged hearing her sigh.

"Well Ima talk weather you listening or not"

She climbed on my bed before talking.

"Look the time at the beach was stupid, I didn't really understand why you got so damn angry, I thought we was doing well, actually saying we want and love each other, but I've now noticed you protective...very protective, everytime a guy even talks to me you flare up and are ready to fight, I get that but you should be able to trust me Izayah, it works both ways, you think I didn't see you and that girl on the beach huh? Well I did and 2 nights ago yes maybe I was wrong for dancing with that boy but you had no right dragging me away and making a fool of yourself once again, I only want you Zay" 

I continued to stay quiet soaking in everything she said. For some strange reason it made my dick hard. I rubbed my hands down my face before facing to look at her.

"And I only want you Andrea, I'm sorry I get jealous and that I can't control my anger, but its hard to see you get so comfortable with other boys now, i brought you out that shell and all of a sudden you surrounded by niggas, before they would just look but now I'm tryna claim you they want you, shit ain't fair and honestly I have trust issues...I'm sorry"

I leaned back as we sat in a quiet silence...very awkward silence.

"Until we both open up to each other...this" She said pointing in between the both of us. "Just won't work"

The thought of her even moving on with someone else was making me feel sick. 

"I shot my dad because he got my mum to take drugs" I blurted out.

There was the silence again, but not a awkward silence.

"My dad used to molester me, told me I was never gonna be nothing but a fat bitch" 

My heart sank.

"I'm okay now, he's in jail I guess, i know my mum still thinks about it, the whole situation, she stabbed him near his heart before the police came, i was living with my aunt before she passed since my mum did have to do time for attempted murder, but we got over it, I hope my dad rots in jail" She said with a small shrug.

"Damn...I'm sorry Andrea"

She didn't even shed a tear, I didn't realise how strong she was until now.

"Don't be, honestly Zay I'm over it, but...what happened..." She said slowly.

My dad along side some of his friends was hustling, one day he must've brought that shit around, taking it himself I guess, I remember after putting my sisters to sleep I was going to my room when I could hear faith cries and my dad semi yelling, I crept to their room watching through the crack of the door as he shoved the needle on her arm then had his own way with her..." I stopped feeling myself choking up.

Andrea sat closer to me pulling me into her.

"Months passed and she was a official crack head, didn't care weather me and my sisters ate or not, went school or even bathed, one night he came in completely off his face with his gun on show, I watched him batter my mum all because his drink was done, I tackled him taking his gun shooting him dead in his gut"

"Jesus"

"This all happened last year, Aunt Nikki found out since the police got involved they told me I can either move state or go jail...that meant leaving my sisters alone with them fuckers, me and Cal have currently made a drug business I need my own spot so I can get them out here to live with me, I can't let them stay with that bitch and sperm donner any longer"

It went quiet again.

"You and Cal...drug business? Wow...umm okay"

"Please don't be mad, and please don't tell Clar Cal needs to do that, don't leave me man, I need you more than anything now"

She carressed my face before smiling.

"I couldn't leave you even if I tried"