n i n e.

144 6 2
                                    

I skipped a few of their band practices, knowing Luke was mad at me.

The boys called me non-stop all this morning, begging me to come. They said it wasn't as fun without me, but I knew it was because I wasn't there to feed them like I always was. They never really made food for themselves unless it was anything ready to eat out of an oven, pizza, or junk food.

I was beginning to think I should have never brought anything up in the first place. Luke and I had a genuine friendship, one that anyone would kill for.

Luke wasn't just their for me when I needed him, he was there 24/7 and it saddened me that this was over 2 weeks since I'd last seen him. I'd grown so accustomed to Luke by my side that him not beside me was almost unbearable.

Calum came by yesterday, dropping off a cake him and the boys made in an attempt to cheer me up. It still sat in the fridge, untouched as I wasn't one for too much sweets. But it was lonely, and so was I.

I pulled up Ashton's number since Calum and Michael weren't able to pick up my call. Thankfully, he answered.

"Masen! What brings you here on this fine day?" Ashton asked, his voice peppy and bubbly just as it always was when he was messing around.

"Um, Ash, do you and the boys want to come over? I can't finish the cake without you." I said, closing my eyes in anticipation as I waited for his answer.

"What do we get in return?" He lowered his voice, curiously, seeing if I would give in to adding anything else to this plan. I could almost hear the smile on his face.

"My company? I'm lonely over here, come on Ash... Pretty please?" I begged. I slouched in my seat, hoping he wouldn't disappoint me.

"Good enough! We can be there in fifteen?" I smiled, approving him before hanging up.

I sat at the small island, slouched in the bar stool, one leg up as I hugged my knee. 

The cake they made me sat on the counter, minutes passing as I had only taken it from the fridge moments ago. 

Even if Ashton, Calum and Michael were heading over, it never escaped my mind that Luke wouldn't be here.

A knock was heard on the door and I quietly made my way over, knowing it was the boys. Their muffled chit chatter was loud enough to recognize through the thin wood of the door.

"Hey, it's our favorite person in the band! Masen," Ashton jokingly greeted me, the three of them walking in and going straight to the kitchen."

"Sorry, I called you guys last minute." I apologized, staring at my hands as I fiddled my thumbs. Michael threw an arm over my shoulder, leaning his weight partially on me. He gave off a cheesy smile, his eyes becoming squinted.

"We're your friends Masen, we're always here." Michael turned to the rest of the boys, who nodded in agreement before digging into the cake. We didn't even bother taking plates, and instead stuck our forks straight for the cake.

"Well... It tastes better than it looks." Calum chuckled. He was right, the appearance of the cake was a disaster, probably the only thing they have ever baked in their lives, but it was actually really good. Despite the presentation, I could give them and "A" for effort.

"So how was practice today?" I asked, curiously watching as Calum coughed a bit. "I take it - it didn't turn out as planned?"

"Luke was a no-show, again!" Ashton threw his hands in the air, his voice over-exaggerating the entire sentence. His smile was contagious and I couldn't help my self but giggle at his gestures.

"Oh. Do you know why?" I watched as the boys got a bit uncomfortable in their spots. Ashton's eyes met Michael's awkwardly as they had obviously known something was up with Luke.

I jumped in my spot, as someone knocked on the door. I hadn't been expecting anyone else.

I stared back at them for a moment. I could feel their eyes as they watched me cautiously approach the door.

"Hey, can I talk to y- oh." Luke said, his expression becoming disappointed. He just nodded in the boys direction, them giving a small awkward wave. "I can see I didn't get the invite."

His eyes were trained on the ground as he kicked at the patio rug.

"I'm sorry, I got lonely. And they said you didn't show up to practice so I invited them over. I would've called but I - I haven't you in weeks. I knew you were mad or whatever." I held up a finger to the boys, indicating that it would only take a quick  moment to talk to Luke alone. I stepped outside, shutting the door quietly behind me.

"I see." He said shortly. He just stared at me intently with his pale blue eyes, which somehow enticed me with how deep he looked. The worry, pain, concern, it was all there.

"Luke, I'm sorry for ever bringing that stupid question up. I just needed an explanation for what was happening. I was just shocked I guess." I admitted and sighed.

"Don't be, Mase. I shouldn't have even gotten mad in the first place. I have a hard time with feelings. I need to work on that." Luke stepped away, sitting on the patio steps to my apartment. He laughed at himself pathetically, playing with the shoelace of his black boots.

He bit his lip where his lip ring was and a hint of a smile tugged the corners as he was in thought.

"You know, Anna got tired of me." He said, never meeting my eyes.

"No, she couldn't have. You two looked like you loved each other." I said, and it was true. They seemed to get along great, and rarely did they get in fights. There were some arguments here and there, but they seemed to always resolve things. But I guess behind closed doors, we were blind how they really were.

"No. It's true. She used to tell me she loved me, but I could never say it back. She asked me once if I loved her the way she loved me, but I couldn't give her a straight answer. I coudn't say those three words back." His expression had saddened a bit. It looked like guilt was plain to see. His brows scrunched in the middle as he licked his lips.

"Because you never truly loved her, right?" I asked. He nodded, but the words that fell from his lips were unexpected.

"Because I was always thinking of someone else." He said, the words fluidly departing his soft, pink lips. "If there's one thing I ever regret, its saying that that kiss didn't mean anything."

My eyes met Luke's sparkling blue ones, but mine observed him as his eyes traveled to my lips. He began to lean forward, his eyes trained solely to my lips. I bit my lip nervously, anticipating for the moment his lips would touch mine for a second time.

____________________________

© 2014 ILLUKEMINATTl. All Rights Reserved.

More ✧ l. hemmingsWhere stories live. Discover now