Photograph | l.h.

Chapter Thirty Nine

Chapter Thirty Nine

Lillian

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, she paced around her bedroom about a hundred times. Her cell phone rested on her bed, with the sound turned down to the lowest level, therefore she would not have any distractions.

The same thought ran through Lillian's mind over and over again; it was beginning to give her a headache. She was contemplating the same ideas for what seemed like hours, however she was having some trouble with coming to an ultimate conclusion.

The last thing Lillian wanted was for anybody to get hurt, but with this decision that she would soon be making, hurting somebody was inevitable.

As much as she wanted to stay involved with Luke and be an active role in his life, Lillian came to the conclusion that it was not possible anymore. As much as she wanted to remember Luke, she could not, and it did not seem as if her brain was going to set back in place and remember him anytime soon; if at all.

The sound of her phone ringing was enough to bring Lillian from her thoughts. She groaned as she noticed Luke's name on the screen. She let the call go to voicemail, given that she was not in the right state of mind to be talking to him.

After her phone had finished making it's obnoxious sounds, a text from Luke became apparent on her screen.

Want to hangout after I get out of school? The text read.

With shaky hands, Lillian picked up her phone, slowly typing out a reply.

Sure, her text read, although a part of her wanted to decline.

Luke responded, telling Lillian that he would be at her house within two hours. She sighed, figuring that she needed to come up with something to say in those two hours, because if she did not do this today, her guilt might as well just eat her alive. With her phone in hand, Lillian opened up her notes section. She shakily typed some ideas, feeling pathetic in that moment.

Things were not supposed to be this way.

-

Two and a half hours passed, and Luke still had not arrived. Lillian still paced around her room, not knowing what to do with herself. She put on some music, in attempt to calm her nerves, however it did not seem to be working. After racking up multiple ideas in her brain over the past two hours, she finally managed to figure out what she was going to say to Luke. It was not going to be easy, and it was most definitely going to be painful, yet Lillian felt as if it needed to be done.

"Luke, I think - " she began to practice, her voice hoarse. "I think we need to - "

"Lillian?" a voice that she knew all too well spoke, pushing the door open slowly as he walked in.

"Luke?" Lillian mumbled, surprised that she did not hear Luke enter the front door of the apartment.

"Did I hear you say my name?" he asked, a look of confusion spread across his features. Lillian shook her head no, feeling her body starting to break out into a sweat, due to being nervous. She attempted to smile at Luke, despite the fact that he had a suspicious look on his face.

"No?" She nervously laughed. "Maybe it was the music,"

"Okay," Luke shrugged, dismissing their conversation, and changing the topic into a new one. "Do you want to go get something at McDonald's? I found a gift card laying around my house, it has about twelve dollars on it. I'm in the mood to smash on a big mac, if you would care to join."

Luke's lips formed into a grin, as he pulled the card out of his jacket pocket.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Lillian knew that she needed to say no, though she could not bring herself to.