Be My Starlight

Waiting

"Im going to work Sherlock, Mycroft is sleeping on the couch."

"Please don't go."

John sits by my side, holding me for a few minutes before he needs to leave again. He kisses me softly as he gets up, telling me to go back to sleep.

"Make sure you eat today Sherlock. Please."

I haven't eaten since Moriarty's return, instead I sit by the open windows all day. John barely managed to get me into the bed last night, the first time in four days. He closed the windows again, I naturaly open them as soon as the door shuts. John is the only one I let into the room though, Mycroft got nailed in the face with a shoe last time he tried to come near me. He is at the door now, as he is every day, sitting just on the other side.

"Sherlock? Are you okay?"

"Go away!"

He opens the door, looking prepared to dodge anything I throw.

"Please Sherlock, come out of here."

I am lying in the bed, I'm not moving today.

"Sherlock?"

He sits beside me on the bed, stroking my hair. I dont move, barely feeling his hand. Mycroft stays with me for a few hours, I think, before he gets a call. He answers it, walking out of the room again. I can still hear part of the conversation.

"What do you mean he didnt show up? He said he was going to your flat Molly! No we haven't heard from him."

Their call lasts a few minutes, Mycroft occasionaly yelling before remembering I am in here.

"Find him. No, you can't tell Sherlock about it, he is already depressed enough. Just find him, and make sure he gets back okay."

Mycroft comes back in, watching me for a few minutes before he sits beside me.

"Sherlock?"

"What?"

"Did John tell you what he was doing today?"

"Work."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you want Mycroft?"

"He hasn't shown up at Molly's flat, and we haven't heard from him."

I don't feel anything right now, wholly numb. Mycroft hugs me, letting me sob into his suit.

"He took John."

"No no no, Sherlock. We'll find John. It's okay."

"He has John Mycroft. We need to go get him now."

I struggle up, fighting against Mycroft. He lets me up after a few minutes of objection, handing me my cell.

"Call him."

He leaves, shutting the door behind him. I call Johns cell, waiting anxiously as it rings.

"Sherlock?"

"John! Where are you?"

"Come get him Sherlock."

Moriarty. Again. He's back. He's got John. I feel the panic bubble up inside of me, threatening to smother me.

"Take me, leave him alone."

"Ten thirty. Tomorrow night. Ill message you the location at some point in the next day, if I feel like it."

He hangs up, the sound of the line going dead breaks me. Mycroft comes back in when I chuck my cell against the wall, walking cautiously towards me.

"What happened?"

"He has John!"

I am crying again, screaming at Mycroft. Mrs. Hudson walks up, having heard the news, and tries to calm me down. They wont let me out of the room, wont let me be alone in the room either. I alternate pacing the floor, calling Johns cell, and screaming at everyone. A message finally comes through, this one from Moriarty.

Look at him. Your pictures where cuter.- JM

He sends me a picture of John, sleeping and beat up.

What the hell do you want?- SH

You.- JM

Leave him alone!- SH

Goodbye Sherlock.- JM

I throw my cell down onto the bed, not wanting to crack any more of the screen. Mycroft comes in just after sunset, asking me to eat something. He brings me a plate, which I throw back in his face. Mrs. Hudson comes in later, holding her arms out to me. Just like John does. I break down again, curling back into a ball. She rubs my back, trying to calm me down.

"I'm sorry Sherlock. We'll find him."

I fall asleep finally, still on the floor. Mrs. Hudson wakes me accidentally when she picks me up, lying me back down in the bed. She brings Mycroft back in the next morning to check on me after another sleepless night. He sits down, lying his hand across my forehead.

"He's running a low fever."

I dont move, nor do I pay attention to anything Mycroft is doing. He falls asleep, leaning against the headboard. I crawl over, lying against him. My cell buzzes and I whip it out of my pocket, dreading what I am to see.

Alleyway across from the park. Ten thirty sharp, or he stays with me for another week.- JM

Fine.- SH

Ill know if you bring anyone. If you do, I am keeping him.- JM

Ill be there.- SH

As will we.- JM

He signs off, leaving me the day to ponder his words. Mycroft wakes as I am falling back asleep, trying to move before he realizes I am lying on him.

"Sherlock?"

"Yeah?"

He doesn't say anything more, just relaxes again. Mrs. Hudson walks in randomly, stopping when she sees Mycroft sleeping and me lying against him. She smiles warmly when she catches my eye.

"Do you want to eat anything Sherlock dear?"

"No."

She is disappointed at this, frowning slightly.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Water, please."

"Come out of the room Sherlock, let your brother sleep."

I follow her silently out of the room, seeing how different the flat looks. Mycroft has rearranged everything, all of my stuff has been moved. Papers stacked in neat little piles across my desk. While Mrs. Hudson goes into the kitchen, I move my stuff back where I had it before. She chuckles when she comes back into the sitting room, watching me move stuff around. I finally sit down on the couch with her, perching on the edge. My hands are still shaking, she notices this and holds out her arms. I let her hug me for a few minutes before I pull back, standing to leave again.

"Are you okay Sherlock?"

"No."

She lets me go back to the room, telling me to come talk to her if I needed anything. I walk back into the room, lying back down against Mycroft.