Be My Starlight

Absolutely Not

I look over at Sherlock as he opens the door, light from the hall casting him into a tall silhouette.

"Hey."

He looks completely wasted as he stumbles over to fall on the edge of the bed, smiling when I come up behind him.

"Are you okay Sherlock?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous."

"You're fine, I promise."

"I don't drink."

I laugh at him, pulling him to lie down. He only had a few drinks tonight, took a lot of urging from the rest of us, but he finally gave in. Drunken Sherlock is more loose and carefree than sober Sherlock. He lies down now, laughing when I sit on his stomach.

"What are you doing Little Hedgehog?"

"This..."

I lie on top of him fully, kissing him hard on the lips. He kisses me right back, not breaking it until we are both gasping for breath. I start unbuttoning his purple shirt, slowly. He sits up, knocking me off of him. I watch as he pulls his shirt off fully, hands shaking on the buttons. I remember suddenly why he is shaking right now, Moriarty. He flinches when I put my hand over his, sitting back on his heels.

"Sorry."

"Youre fine Sherlock. I...I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

He leans forward, kissing me again.

"Its fine."

Sherlock practically rips my shirt off and, though his hands are still shaking, he wants this. He pulls me against him, biting my ear gently as I kiss his neck again. My cell buzzes, but I kick it away. Sherlocks goes off minutes later, as well as a call on mine, and we are forced to pull apart to check them. I answer mine, surprised to see it is Lestrade.

"John?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"We have a case."

"Absolutely not. He is not going."

"John, we need Sherlock on this one."

"No. Not after what happened last time."

"Fine."

The line goes dead as he hangs up, leaving me in semi-silence.

"Who was that?"

"Lestrade."

"What did he want?"

"Help."

"With?"

"A case."

"You told him no?"

"Yes Sherlock. You cant go, not this one. I dont want you getting hurt. He's back, and Lestrade thinks it was him."

He swears, but instead of breaking down again, he pulls me to him. We sit entwined like this until he shifts, now I'm on top of him again.

"I love you John."

His voice is barely a whisper, lips brushing softly against my neck.

"I love you too Sherlock."

I turn to face him, surprised by a random kiss to the lips. He tips my head back, hands on the sides of my face, and deepens the kiss. My fingers are tangled in his hair, lost in the moment. This moment of perfection. He draws back to breathe again, grinning at me. He tilts his head to the side, staring deep into my eyes. I wish we hadn't waited so long to get married, there are still two days to the wedding. I want him to be mine and only mine. My heart aches at the prospect of waiting, lips burning from his kiss. His fingers dig into my arm as I pull him closer, kissing down his neck and along his collar bone. He sighs softly before attacking me with kisses again. I can tell he is getting tired though, his hands start shaking.

"Lie down and get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

"Sherlock."

"Fine."

I push him down gently, letting him tug me down beside him. He kisses me a few more times before pressing his head to my chest, arms wrapped around me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

His voice is muffled, lips brushing my bare skin. I notice his hands are shaking, words slurred by the alcohol. He kisses me again, lips pressing hard against my chest. Forehead against my chest, Sherlock passes out finally. I wake up with a splitting headache, stupid hangover. Sherlock wakes when I lie him down so I can get up, mumbling something to me. I lean over to hear him, but he passes out again. I kiss him softly on the forehead before I walk out to the kitchen. Mrs. Hudson is sitting at the counter, chatting with Molly. They both turn and smile at me, Mrs. Hudson offering coffee. I take it gratefully and join them at the counter, sitting across from them. We sit talking about tomorrow for about an hour before the sound of Sherlock shuffling down the hall breaks our conversation.

"John?"

His curly head pops in the doorway, still bare chested. Thankfuly he pulled on a pair of pyjama pants before coming out. I smile as he blushes, seeing the women are present.

"Ill go...umm..."

He walks out again, returning moments later wrapped in the white sheet from our bed. Molly hands him a cup of coffee, telling him to drink some. He sits beside me, looping his finger around mine under the counter.

"You two slept in rather late."

Molly grins, looking knowingly between us. Mrs. Hudson chuckles as she gets up to make breakfast for everyone. Sherlock barely eats, instead sipping his coffee slowly throughout the meal.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, have a headache though."

I laugh at this, he barely drank anything last night. He groans and lies his head on the counter, still hanging onto my hand.

"I need to go into work, thanks for breakfast. Ill see you three tomorrow!"

Molly leaves the flat quickly, waving as she closed the door. Sherlock gets a call on his cell, standing and walking into the sitting room to take it.

"Hello Mycroft."

I cant hear most of the rest of the conversation, though Sherlock looks nervous when he returns.

"What's wrong Sherlock dear?"

"Its..uhhmm... Mycroft just called."

"What about?"

"Mum is at his flat."

"My God Sherlock, that's amazing."

She pulls him into a hug, a smile breaking across his face. He still looks nervous, but slightly less so. We finish breakfast in a comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional question. Mrs. Hudson leaves around lunch time, promising to be back tomorrow morning. Sherlock and I have another lazy day, lying around in the sitting room together watching the telly. He lies his head against my shoulder suddenly, falling asleep for the night. I have realized he has been sleeping through the night more often, hopefully tonight will be another one of his good nights.