Welcome to Hollywood

Chapter 6

For the past two hours now I've gotten a total makeover. Darcy did my hair without changing any of the technicalities, did my makeup, styled me, and did my nails. I feel like a superstar! Even though my confidence is high I can't help but think back to one of the days that changed my life forever. 

Flashback - 6 months earlier    

"Jessy this is ridiculous."

I look into my mother's eyes. How has this woman gotten to this point? The point where she is a hundred pounds overweight, and so miserable with her life that she needs to chain smoke a pack of cigarettes every day and get wasted every night just to survive. Oh yeah, now I remember, that's me. Why can't I just be good for her?

"It's only 10. I need to be in bed by 11, so I'm good right now."

"No, if you do that this week with your schedule and the way you eat, then you’re gonna get run down and sick."

I shake my head.

"Well then I'll pass out and learn my lesson. I don't really care."

"So I can pay for your medical pills again, nope."

I try not take it to heart, and I don't answer. I just blast Beyonce's If I Were A Boy performance at the Grammy's in 2011, so speechless of the amount of talent she possess. I finish the summary of an article I found on sleep preventing anxiety that was due on Friday... Whoops! Procrastination gets me again. I get up to get a drink and my mom has a blank tired expression on her face, the one she has every night around 10. I shake my head in disappointment of her smoking. Why can't she just stop? It honestly disgusts me! I know that if I bring it up she'll just get annoyed but it's better now than never.

"Mom, stop smoking."

"Excuse me?" 

"Just stop you're gonna die young."

"Whatever."

"No and drinking isn't gonna help."

"I've only had one or two, thank you very much."

I sigh, "It only takes two to be buzzed and another to be drunk."

"Whatever."

"Do you not hear what I'm saying?"

"No, I hear what you're saying, and when I'm ready I'll stop."

"Do you want to be like Pepere?"

"No Jessy."

"So you do wanna watch me walk down the aisle and have children?"

"Yes."

"Then stop. And while you are at it, stop smiling like that when discussing something this serious."

"Yeah okay."

"C'mon mom, I'm begging you. I'll get healthy too, we can do this together."

I start breaking down in tears as she just walks into the bedroom. My brother comes up looking as confused as ever.

"What happened?"

I shake my head and just let tears pour out of my eyes. I don't cry a lot because I know I won't be able to stop. I am the rock of this family I can't break down.

After I am somewhat audible I say, "Mom won't stop smoking." 

He gets angry and looks to his right at father in the living room and then in my parent's bedroom. After mentally debating, he walks into my parents’ bedroom with his face straight and arms crossed. He's angry. He gives her the look he gives my father before he gets slapped or yelled at. My mom looks confused as I put my head against the door trying to breathe. That's what I hate about crying, my face gets hives and my breathing is uncontrollable.