Fragile (Broken #2) SVU

Chapter Five.

*Skys POV*
Today I am going back to school. Mom thinks it's too early for me to be returning but I can't take another day at home, there's too much time to think. I am ready to get back some sense of normality and that means I have to go to school.

I am standing in front of my full length mirror. The jeans that once fit so perfectly hang from my hipbones, my arms are scraggly and bony. The hollows of my cheeks are so defined I look like a ghost. I shove a cardigan around my shoulders to hide my bones. And although I should feel disgusted, I can't help but feel happy of how much weight I've lost.

I grab my backpack and walk into the living room, putting on a brave face so my Mom won't find out how terrified I am.

"Ready." She asks, looking up from her newspaper.

"Yup."

The car ride is silent. The noise of morning traffic feels distorted with the windows rolled up. The bustle of people hurrying to their jobs makes my head spin.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready." Mom repeats for the hundredth time this morning.

"I know but I need normal Mom. My life has been a whole lot of not normal since this started."

She nods and I know she won't ask me again. When we pull up to the school, she throws her arms around me and squeezes me tight. I nearly change my mind and ask her to take me home.

I pull out of the hug and climb out the car, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"Any problems, call me. I'm at the prescient all day." My Mom says, hanging out the window. "Don't forgot to eat something please, you need to keep your strength up."

I walk up the path, my heart pounding in my rib cage, my hands shaking with anticipation.

I'm scared. Scared of the reaction of my peers, scared of how theyll treat me, scared of the whispers and stares in my direction. I take a deep breath, walk in through the doors and let the buzz of students engulf me.

**********

It's lunch. The morning passed by in a haze of exhaustion and whispers. The kids in my classes spent their time staring at me instead of focusing on their work. Everyone is treating me like I'm a piece of broken glass.

I've seen Cameron around, but despite my efforts she'd ignored me and walked in the opposite direction. I'm angry she's choosing to treat me like I don't exist.

I shove my books into my locker and slam the door shut, but when I turn around, a familiar face is staring at me.

"Bex! You scared the shit out of me." I say, clutching my chest.

"Sorry babe. I've been trying to catch you all morning." She replies.

I'm thankful for the conversation. It had been a lonely morning with everyone treating me like damaged goods. I'd not seen or spoken to Bex for months so it was nice to have a friend whose not treating me any different to normal.

"I'm sorry I've been off the radar. To be honest, I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to upset you or anything. I'm not good with words."

"It's fine. I wouldn't have been good company anyway."

"Wanna come sit with me at lunch?"

I smile, and she hooks her arm in mind and led me down the corridor towards the lunch hall. A warm feeling spreads inside me, it's nice to have a friend again even if it means I can't avoid lunch.

When we walk into the hall I swear everyone seems to stop eating their food and is silent, staring at us. I tense my body and grip my dinner tray so I don't bolt. Everything in my body is screaming at me to escape. I resist the urge, and instead pick up a sandwich and a bottle of water.

5 minutes later, everyone has gone back to what they were doing. I breath a sigh of relief as I plonk myself down next to Bex. As she starts shovelling food down her throat, I stare at the sandwich with a feeling I've never experienced before. A feeling of fear creeps over me and pain radiates through my fingertips. A cold shiver ripples across my skin, whispering I'm too fat to eat anything. I realise I'm terrified to eat.

I can't control what happens around me, I can't control what those men did to me, I can't control any of it. But food, food is something I can control. I can control what I look like, what goes in my body.

I make my excuses to Bex and pick up the sandwich. I race out the hall, find the nearest bin and toss the sandwich in the trash.