Dear Universe, ✔

33.

Ian's P.O.V

"Annie, you look fine, can we go now?" I'd been sitting on her bed watching and helping her change her outfit for almost an hour now, and she's right back to the outfit she was wearing when I arrived. 

"Nothing matches this ugly yellow cast." She frowns at the mirror and then goes to tug off her shirt. 

"Annie, your shirt is white." 

"Yeah, so?" 

"So, white matches yellow." 

She turns towards me, her eyes narrowed like she can't believe what I had just said. "I'm not talking about the colors matching, Ian." 

What? What else would match then? I decide to just keep my mouth shut and continue to wait as Annie picks up every shirt she has ever owned before tossing it back on the floor, or in her closet. Another twenty minutes later, I was close to falling asleep when I hear her say, "Okay, lets go." 

I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes when I see that she's in the exact same white shirt and ripped jeans she was wearing two hours ago. 

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When we went to a baseball game a few nights ago, Annie was struggling to walk from the parking lot to the stadium and she was holding her side a lot. I couldn't help but worry about her, every time I heard her hiss and wince at the pain, I just think of her lying in a hospital bed unconscious or her being wheeled down a long hallway doctors that are shouting words I don't understand. 

I know that a big part of the reason she broke up with Drew is because of how he suffocated her after the accident that killed her brother, so I'm trying to not treat her as if she could break at any minute. 

She seems to be doing better today though. I haven't seen her holding her side as much or shift so that none of her weight is on her left leg, which is still a pretty dark shade of purple. The cuts on her face are slowly healed enough that she has easily concealed them with make up, and the nightmares that she was having the first couple of nights after waking up in the hospital are gone.

Another way that Annie is doing better is that she is sticking to her sessions with Dr. White, she even went to two appointments this week - claiming that she needed it. She's smiling more now, and they're real smiles, not forced. She's been texting some of her old friends, making plans with them for when she comes back to school, and opening up to not only me but Fieldan and her parents. She's even helping Harper with the cheer squad since she can't rejoin the team with her injuries. 

It's like I'm meeting a whole new side of Annie, and I love her even more - which I didn't think was possible. 

I loved her when she was quiet and withdrawn, hiding out in my room in attempt to block out the world around her. I loved her when there was secrets and a hidden past behind her eyes. I loved her when she broke down from the weight of the world on her shoulders, and when she showed me how kind and patient she is. I loved her when she struggled to love herself and when she didn't even know I loved her. I loved her when she reminded me that there are good people out there - and she's probably the best of them all. 

I loved her when she left me.

I loved her when she came back to me.

I love her now, even when she tells me there's more to matching than just color. I love her when she's happy and trying to better herself. I love her now when she cares about her mental health and when she shows interest in new things, when she gets excited and talks so fast I can barely understand her. I love her when she gives people second chances, when she hears people out, and when she forgives.