Dear Universe, ✔

6.

Tuesday's are my therapy days. After the long night and day I've had, the last thing I want to do is drive across town to talk to Dr. White for an hour. Actually, the last thing I want to do is go home and talk to my parents - which is what I'm doing after my appointment. So yeah, today is not my day. 

I was early to my appointment, so as I wait in the waiting room I check my phone. I'm surprised to see I have a text from Ian.

Ian: Hey. Are you okay?

I've been better. 

Ian: Do you like baseball? 

Images of River in my backseat flash into my mind. His wide smile, his excitement, his red and white uniform. I stare at my screen, reading and re-reading the question. 

It's just a sport, Annie. 

Yeah, a little.

Ian: Want to hit the batting cages with me? It's where I go after a bad day, it might help you feel better.

"Annie." The receptionist calls my name and I stand and walk towards Dr. White's office. 

Before I walk in to the office I text Ian back and turn off my phone - per Dr. White's rules. 

I have to talk to my parents about everything, but after? I'm sure I'll need it. 

The walls in Dr. White's office are full of framed degrees and pictures of things like flowers and birds - things that are supposed to make you feel calm and happy. So far, they don't work on me. I'm always annoyed when I'm here, I don't see the point. 

"So Annie, have you done any blogging?" 

"A little." 

I watch as Dr. White scribbles something on her notepad. She does that a lot, she's always scribbling down things, even when I don't really say anything. I'd like to get a look at that notepad. 

"What have you blogged about?" She looks at me from behind her black rimmed glasses. Dr. White reminds me of a stylish grandma, she's probably in her sixties but dresses like she's thirty. Her hair is always colored red to hide her graying hair, and it's always styled expertly. 

"Uhm. Just about this new friend I made, mostly...and I wrote about River a little bit."

"Really? That's great, Annie. Tell me about this new friend." 

I basically repeat to her what I've written on the internet, and I nod as she tells me how great this all is. The whole time though, I'm dreading facing my parents and excited to hang out with Ian. I probably should have mentioned my parents potential divorce to Dr. White, but I wasn't ready to have her dissect that topic. 

When our hour is up, I sign myself out and turn my phone on as I ride the elevator down to the parking lot. 

I sent my mom a text to let her know that I was on my way home, and then I opened the text from Ian. 

Ian: Yeah, just let me know when. I'll pick you up.

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The tension in my living room is unbearable right now. I'm seated on the couch, both my parents standing in front of me, both waiting for the other to speak first. It feels like we've been here for hours, but when I glance at the clock it's only been three minutes. 

I can't take this anymore. "I heard you. I heard you say you wanted a divorce." I look directly at my mom and she looks at the floor. 

"Annie, we have a lot of issues to work out and it's best to work through those issues when we're not under the same roof breathing down each other's neck twenty four seven." She's pleading, begging me to understand and not overreact.