Dear Universe, ✔

31.

"Are you ever going to stop staring at me?" Ian has been sitting beside me in my small hospital bed for almost an hour, and the entire time his eyes have only left my face maybe once. His long body is stretched out, careful to not lie on top of any of the wires and IV's attached to my body,  and I'm curled into his side, our faces just inches apart. 

"Probably not." He gives me a small smile and leans in to kiss the top of my head. "I'm just glad you're here, I don't-"

"I'm here. That's what matters." I cut him off, not wanting to talk about the accident right now. I'd already had to relive it while talking to the doctors about my injuries and that was enough for me. I'm alive and that's what I want to focus on, I don't want this to throw me back into the dark place I had just dragged myself out of. 

"I know, I was just really fucking scared." He pulls me closer to him and I breathe in the scent of him, letting it relax me as he strokes my back, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"Hey, Ian."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe it was all a dream, but...were you and Drew talking about how I don't like icing?"

He pulls back and looks down at me, his eyes wide, "You heard that?" 

"I heard bits and pieces of different conversations. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness for a few days." I explain as his hand moves up and down my back.

"What else did you hear?"

"I heard my parents talking to the doctor, Nate take Fieldan home, Fieldan's rant about Harper, and some other stuff. I was never conscious for more than a few minutes, but every time I tried and tried to open my eyes or say something and I just couldn't."

"What about today?" I hadn't told him about how I woke up, there was so much other stuff going on and it was such an emotional moment that it just slipped our minds. 

"The first thing I heard was Colby telling you to go see your mom, and then you tell him you didn't want to leave me alone." I put my cast free hand up to his face and his kisses my palm, "When you left I heard him turn on the television and for awhile I just listened to the show, wondering why I was awake for such a longer period of time. Then Colby started to talk to me about how worried you are and how you haven't been going to school or practice...I tried harder than ever before to speak, and when he told me that I had to wake up, the words finally came out of my mouth." 

"I'm sorry I wasn't here." He lowers his eyes and his hand squeezes mine gently.

"You needed to see your mom." My hand is still on his face and I move my thumb across his cheek as he brings his eyes back to mine. "Did you tell her about me?"

"It was kind of hard to hide, I was barely holding it together by the time I got there. As soon as she saw me she knew something was up, and I lost it when she hugged me." I rest my forehead against his. "She was worried about you."

"You told her I'm awake, right?" 

He nods, causing my head to nod along with him. "I called her from the car after I hung up with you." He takes my hand in his and moves it from his face, resting them in between us. "When I saw Colby calling me I thought something else had happened, the last thing I expected was to hear your voice."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. I just wanted to be the one to tell you, and I didn't have a phone." 

"God, no. Don't be sorry, Annie. I'm glad it was you, there was no other voice I wanted to hear more." Ian's smile has always made my heart flutter, ever since the first time I saw it. Back then his smile was so rare and he was so reserved, it made me feel special that I was the one he smiled for. Right now though, so much has changed - things about him and me and us - but the fact that Ian's smile can make me melt, that will never change.