Dear Universe, ✔

21.

I trace the lines of Ian's tattoos and watch his lips twitch and form a smile as he sleeps. His long lashes brush the top of his cheeks and his messy hair is falling in his face instead of being perfectly styled as usual. He looks so peaceful and happy.

It's hard to believe that just seven months or so ago Fieldan was describing this boy to me like he was this scary, tattooed, silent loner. In all reality though, Ian is the sweetest, kindest, most selfless person I know and I can't believe that he chose me. That he let me in. That it's me that gets to see the hidden sides of him, that gets to hear his laugh, that gets to see the vulnerable parts of him.

When my fingers start to lightly trace the patterns on his wrist, his hand flips over and his fingers entwine with mine. He's looking at me with sleepy eyes and I return his cheesy smile. 

"Hey." With my free hand, I pull the sheets around me tighter, which is pointless after last night - it's not like there's anything Ian hasn't seen at this point. 

"Hey." He releases my hand and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him so that my head is now on his chest and the blanket I had wrapped tightly around me fell loose. When I look up at his face, I'm met with a smirk. 

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This time, Ian's fingers are tracing imaginary lines and circles on my skin and we both try to get our breathing to go back to normal. "Why did we spend so much time laying in this bed watching Netflix when we could have been doing this?"

"Shut up." I roll my eyes and slap his chest as he laughs before going silent again. I glance over at the clock and see that it's 4:35 a.m. Fieldan is staying with Nate this weekend and Ian's dad had a business trip out of town, so Fieldan's mom went with him, leaving Ian and I the house to ourselves all weekend. 

"Are you going to visit your mom tomorrow?" Ian's mom got out of isolation last week and when he went to visit her, he said that she was quiet and withdrawn, which made him second guess his choice even more so than before. However, the doctors had said that her abnormal mood was due to her adjusting to the new meds they had prescribed her, and promised she would be back to her old self soon. None of that really eased Ian's mind though.

"I was planning on it. Why?"

"Can I come?"I've only visited his mom a few times, but I really like her and enjoy visiting her. Plus, I really like seeing Ian with his mom, it's like another side of him - the happiest version of him.

"She might not be...adjusted to the medication." Ian is always hesitant about bringing me to see his mom, in case she has an episode. The first time I met her was the only time I ever saw any evidence of her illness, but I think he still worries about people seeing her in that state, even though he knows I won't judge. 

"I know." 

"Okay, yeah. That'd actually be great." He kisses the top of my head, something that had become one of my favorite things lately. "I want to ask you something." 

"Okay, what?" I tilt my head so that I can see his face. 

"Do you think I should try out for the baseball team?" 

"Yes!" I sit up and clap my hands together, earning an amused expression from my boyfriend.

"I wasn't expecting you to get excited about it." 

"I just think it's a great idea. You're so good, and the team would be lucky to have you. Plus, I know how much you love and miss it, so I think it's a great idea." I think back to all the times that we've gone to the batting cages or even just tossed a baseball back and forth, it's obvious that he misses playing the sport.