America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 1)

Episode 14: Billboards and BOTUS

"Aw, shit. How did he get out of his cage?" Washington D.C. grumbles while searching underneath the couch.

Today, the Capital of the World is taking care of BOTUS: the Bunny of the United States. I mean, it's better than organizing bills. Still, it doesn't help she's not getting paid to pet-sit this famous bunny. Stupid shutdown...

"The Vice President is going to kill me," D.C. groans, unable to locate the rebellious rabbit so far.

She looks around the White House. She searches the bushes of the garden. She scans the emerald green yard. She asks for the help of White House staff who have yet to inform her of the bunny's location. She checks the kitchen, the dining room, the many rooms throughout the giant, white building... No luck so far until she opens the door to an ordinary room.

She finds Oregon and Washington sitting on the floor. Oregon is holding a picture book while Washington holds a pair of fluffy bunnies. D.C. recognizes both bunnies. One of them is Washington's beige rabbit named Wally. The other is BOTUS: Marlon Bundo.

The capital huffs. "White House security. Call off the search. I found BOTUS," she speaks into a walkie-talkie before turning her attention to the Pacific Northwest. "You assholes. I've been looking for that bunny for hours."

Oregon cocks her head. "You were?"

"Yes, I was! I'm taking care of BOTUS until the Pences return home." She's about to pick up the bunny when Wash defensively shields Marlon Bundo away from her.

"Oh, come on! Marlon Bundo loves Wally. Don't be the stink bug who separates them."

She scowls. "I'm not going to pet-sit two bunnies."

"Then, let us do it. We have nothing else to do for today."

"You can't. Think what the Vice President will do when he sees BOTUS playing with Wally."

"Uh-huh." They smirk.

She's about to scold them when she thinks about what she said for a second. "... I expect BOTUS back by seven," she says before leaving the room.

Oregon and Washington chuckle as they pick up from where they left off. "Now, where were we? Ah, yes. After breakfast I hopped to the garden..." Oregon continues reading the book out loud while Washington, Wally, and Marlon Bundo listen to the nice children's story being presented to them.

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March 2016 ~ Somewhere in Indiana

"It has been a while since we went on a road trip." Illinois gazes out the window, watching the countryside pass by while Indiana drives her truck down the road toward the beach.

And yes, there are beaches in Indiana.

As they're driving down the road, Illinois sees a billboard in the distance. It says: Indiana Deserves Better... PENCE MUST GO! SupportPenceMustGo.org.

"How do you put up with him?" he asks out of the blue.

She gives him a weird glance. "The same way I've put up with all my bosses." She continues driving.

They pass by another billboard. It says: Not Good for Indiana — PENCE MUST GO!

He frowns. "You seriously need to choose better bosses."

She shrugs. "At least he's not like Kansas's boss. She had to sell sex toys because of her boss's tax cuts." She sighs. "Can we stop talking about politics?"

"Sure. Politics is already bad enough as it is. I can't imagine it getting worse than that."

He looks out the window again. Once again, he's reading more billboards, most of which avoid politics. However, that doesn't mean these billboards are normal. Some of the signs he found the most interesting include: a family looking for a kidney donor, a cynical advertisement for beer over therapy, and a website called 'myemptysexlife.com'.