America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 1)

Episode 3: Meanwhile in Florida...

"Next!" the judge orders. She shuffles her papers, getting her ready to judge the next person. She looks down at the name on the paper and her eyes widen in disbelief. She turns her attention away from the paper, peering over the podium to see a familiar woman in handcuffs. "You again? What did you do this time?" She scowls.

Florida waves both her hands. "¡Hola!" She smiles.

☆☆☆☆☆

The judge pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head in puzzlement and disappointment. She questions humanity's common sense, wondering how can one person be so stupid as to show up at her court again and again. Is this "human" incapable of understanding the laws of her own home? How is she not broke from the constant fines? How is she not tired of community service, jail time, or parole? She lets out another agonizing breath before looking down at the handcuffed woman.

"According to this report, you're being charged for the illegal possession of drugs, the illegal possession of an exotic animal, and the illegal possession of a prohibited firearm in addition to disturbing the peace, hijacking a motor vehicle, and criminal assault... What on God's green Earth do you have to say for yourself?"

Florida chuckles. "Well, funny story..."

The judge glares. "Is any of this funny to you?"

She shakes her head. "N-No, ma'am! I get why I'm arrested and all, but all those charges have a good explanation. I'm willing to tell you everything if it means proving my innocence."

"After showing up in my court seven times, I doubt you are as innocent as before."

"Trust me, Your Honor! You wanna hear this!"

The judge sighs. "... What's your story?"

~ Hetalia! ~

"Well, let's see... It all began on a Wednesday morning. Or, was it in the afternoon? Morning? Afternoon? ... I'm going to say noon. Y-Yeah! Noon!"

"Get to the story," the judge groans.

"Right!" Florida nods her head. "So, I was at the beach getting myself a tan. I didn't want to get all pasty white, so I was there for quite a while. After getting my tan, I was walking back to my car in the nearby parking lot when, out of nowhere, a spider monkey falls out of the sky. I was like, "Whoooaaa! Did a monkey just fall out of the sky?" By the way, is the monkey doing alright?"

"The monkey is safe and sound," says the judge in a monotone voice. "Get to the point of the story before I change my mind."

"Yes, Your Honor! As I was saying, this spider monkey falls out of the sky and lands in my convertible. It landed in a loud thunk, and I thought it was dead. I picked it up with my beach towel, and I was glad to see it was still alive. I was about to take the monkey to a veterinarian when, all of a sudden, I was flying."

"What?"

"Uh-huh! I was fly- Actually, I was floating. Y-Yeah! I was definitely floating! Like, I swear I wasn't trippin' balls!"

"That's impossible."

"But it's true! And you know why?"

She sighs. "Why?"

"Because of aliens!"

"... Miss, that's the third time you told me-"