America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 1)

Episode 1: Shutting Down Fun Times

"Dude! I think the States Annual Meeting can convene! Solving all of today's problems by talking excessively!" Texas states out loud for everyone in the building to hear.

Wisconsin gives her a strange look. "Uh-"

Tex laughs. "No matter how hard it seems, we can fix anything with enough meetings and barbecue!"

Virginia calmly sips her cup of tea.

Tex huffs her chest proudly. "Feel free to speak honestly while protecting your chances for reelection!"

Minnesota fixes her bow while Delaware looks uncomfortably to the side, questioning whether or not he made the mistake of letting Tex lead this meeting.

"Alright! Now that's settled, I'll go first! About the whole using fracking to get more oil thing, I think we'll be okay if we engineer a super drill and have it dig to the center of the Earth to find dinosaur blood. Thus, I give you Project Mega Ultra Texas-sized Armadrillo!" She points to a poorly drawn drill shaped like an armadillo on the powerpoint screen.

*Cricket chirps*

Oklahoma shyly raises his hand. "I agree with Tex because..." he mutters in an inaudible voice only a mouse can hear.

"Speak up, or shut up! Everyone wants to speak, too!" Idaho complains impatiently.

"There's no way we can build a drill that'll reach the center of the Earth," New York scoffs. "Frankly, I call bullshit and bologna..." He continues to rant.

California hoots in a smug mood. "If York and Tex don't agree, how can I be superior by dissing them both?"

"El Niño!" York points at her.

Tex slides over to Cali. "You hippies love to hate on Texas! Why not go back to making good Hollywood movies like you used to!" She smiles while poking her head with a pen.

"Hahaha! That's real funny coming from a greedy, oil baron with a stupid hat!"

"You two are the absolute worse," York remarks.

"You're no better than us, Mr. Wolf of Wall Street," she snickers.

While the three states fight over their big egos, the rest of the states can't help but observe from a safe distance.

Hawaii sighs. "Big states are so immature. I doubt they'll ever grow up! Maybe I can try appealing to the only organ of theirs that seems to work." She goes up to the three. "Would you guys like to sample some Spam tasty treats?" She holds out a plate of Spam musubi.

"We'll get hungry again!" York and Cali scold her.

Florida makes a wink at Alaska. "Hey! Why don't you say something, Alaska? They'll stop fighting if you go over and step in!"

"What? Why me? No thanks." Alaska shyly shakes her head. "I would rather be lonely and single forever than get involved with them. Well, maybe except Texas..." She darts her eyes on the rowdy Texan.

Florida shrugs. "How about you, Michigan? Got anything ya want to say?"

"I'm good! Besides, I have other matters I want to discuss." She eyes Ohio with a wrench in hand.

Ohio pales, covering his mouth as though he's going to vomit.

"Please don't kill my beaver! I swear she didn't mean to break your wooden sculpture!" Oregon cries, holding and protecting her friend from the furious Alabamian.

New Jersey laughs. "You're so tough. Next, you'll try to pick a fight with Massachusetts!"

York glares at him. "Do you have a little detachable head?"