Loyalty

Chapter 15: Drunk.

Brian's POV

After my argument with Jess, I felt terrible about how I left things. I was the one who hurt her. I pushed her away when she didn't deserve it. I should've understood that she just needed some space, and that she needed to let out her feelings. But instead, I yelled at her and confessed my true feelings.

I don't regret telling her I love her. It's the truth, and it'll never change. But I regret the way I did it. I never imagined that the first time I told her I loved her, I would be shouting it at her, in the middle of an argument. But I knew that I needed to make things right.

So, a few hours after our argument, I went back to her house to apologize for my behavior, hoping that it wouldn't turn into another fight. It seems like we've been doing that a lot lately. I didn't know how she would react. I assumed she'd be angry with me for leaving an argument like that. I considered that fact that she might not even let me in the house this time. Just in case, I decided to write her a letter to express how I was feeling. I figured that I could get my feelings out better in writing, instead of being a stuttering mess while speaking to her. And at least if she turned me away, I could leave my note there for her to read whenever she felt like it. I decided that I had nothing left to lose, so I poured my heart and soul into this letter:

8/12/16

Dear Jessica,

I'm sorry that I yelled at you. But I'm not sorry for telling you that I love you, because it's the truth. I have been in love with you from the moment I met you, almost five years ago. Every day that I spend with you, I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. I guess that's why I've been acting so irrationally.

You've always called yourself my "biggest fan," which I find quite adorable. But I know this means more than just being a fan of the show. You've always been there for me. And I'm sorry that I've taken advantage of that lately. I appreciate everything you've done for me. I'm grateful that I have you in my life, and I don't tell you that nearly enough.

You're everything to me. I don't want to lose you. So, I promise you, I will accept however you feel. I'll respect whatever decision you make. I love you, Jessica, even if you don't feel the same way.

Love,

Brian.

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I arrived at her house, with my hand-written note. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I had to at least try. I couldn't just give up, because Jess was too important to me. I knocked on her door several times. It felt like déjà vu from just a few hours earlier. Of all the possibilities that ran through my head, nothing could've prepared me for what I saw.

When she opened the door, she was a stumbling, stuttering mess. It took me a minute to realize what was happening because the sight of Jess like this was so foreign. She was drunk.

I was so confused that I didn't realize what I was seeing at first. I had never see Jess drunk before, so her behavior was so bizarre to me. She was typically in control of herself, and now she was a bit of a mess.

"Oh, look who's back," she stuttered.

"Jess... are you okay? Can I come in?" I said, asking for permission this time instead of just barging in.

"Sureee... of course. Don't I always let you back in?" she said, somewhat sarcastically.

My whole plan was thrown off. I completely forgot about giving her the letter I wrote. Now I was just focused on making sure Jess was okay. That was the most important thing right now.