Lake House Love (One Direction)

Chapter Five

Haddie's P.O.V.

I can't believe I actually kissed Niall.

I didn't mean to. Well, I mean...I guess I meant to kiss him but it was a blind impulse. I do like Niall. I really do...but there's also Harry. I suppose I needed to feel what it was like to kiss Niall...sober. I can't explain it...it was different from what I remember of kissing Harry all those years ago...if that even really counted. Kissing Niall was like kissing a warm teddy bear. If that makes sense. He's warm and pleasant and his lips are really soft and comforting. What I remember of Harry's kiss when I was twelve was like fire itching all over my skin. If I could even remember correctly something that happened over six years ago that lasted .2 seconds. 

When I had pulled back Niall looked completely shocked. His electric blue eyes were filled with several emotions...it was hard to pick out just one. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Of course then it turned into a full-blown Niall Smile which automatically made me smile. Which then I started to feel like an idiot. I started to blush so I looked at the ground. We stood there awkwardly smiling at each other for a few seconds until I couldn't really take it anymore. I just jetted up the steps and sprinted to the campfire, leaving Niall in my flip flop dust. Everyone saw me run up, an idiotic grin plastered on my red, blushing face. They all stared at me. That made me blush even more. So I just squatted down onto the grass and stared at the fire, trying to wait for the attention to be brought off of me.

"Umm...and that was about...?" Louis asked me. I looked up at him. He was sitting on a hammock next to Eleanor. They were holding hands. How cute. I shook my head and looked back at the fire. I didn't speak. I also didn't dare look at Harry. No way I was going to meet his eyes. Finally I heard Niall's footsteps approaching from behind. Of course he sat right next to me. The whole group looked at us skeptically and then finally moved onto another subject.

They were talking about living on the tour bus when I felt a hand brushing mine. I looked down at my hand and saw another hand trying to grab it. I jerked it back. I looked up at Niall who looked defeated and confused.

"What the hell was that about?" I whispered angrily. I didn't want to draw attention to Niall and me. Us walking back to the campfire was awkward enough. Niall searched my eyes before replying. 

"I...I thought that since we kissed we..." He stuttered quietly. I shifted my way farther away from him.

"You thought that since we kissed we might be in some kind of relationship now?" I asked. Okay, looking back at it all I regret treating him like he was an idiot when he was just simply misunderstanding things. I do regret it. But at the time I was so nervous and scared about that kiss myself that I didn't know what it meant. I stood up, not letting Niall reply, and heading back for the cabin. I felt all seven eyes on me as I retreated back through the basement door. 

I walked up to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I needed to catch up to my own thoughts. I needed to figure out what all this meant. I was alone so I started to talk to myself. Don't judge me I was alone and majorly confused.

"Okay...get a hold of yourself, Hadleigh May Connors." I told myself. I ran my fingers through my tangled blond hair like I always do when I'm really nervous. I took deep breaths and stood up straight. "You kissed Niall. You liked it. You like Niall." I tried to convince myself this...I don't think it was working. I honestly kept on thinking about Harry. I never did dare look at him the entire time after I left Niall on the steps. I didn't want to see him. But his image just kept popping into my brain every time I blinked. I've got this bad.

I was young when I kissed Harry. I remember it clearly, but my emotions may have fogged over the years. However, I kept in good touch with Harry. I talked with him the whole six years. Especially during the X Factor. I watched him on the show and I followed his band...I fell in love with Harry again. People would blame me for only saying I love Harry because he's famous. It's actually the exact opposite. Becoming the biggest boy band like ever, it brought out the Harry I missed. Him being famous helped me see the Harry that I left six years ago. He can't always be the same cheeky lad through texting. But seeing him on TV and performing...he's my Harry again. He's my Hazza. 

But then there's Niall. I watched him grow through One Direction...I watched him mature and be himself. When I met him outside the tourbus three days ago...he's so wonderful. He's so sweet. He's like a perfect person. He's thoughtful and he's nice. He doesn't push things...he's carefree. He's hilarious too. I mean that boy keeps me in stitches and I've only 'officially' known him for three days. His smile always makes me smile. His laugh always makes me laugh. 

But then God damn Harry pops into my head again.

I'm confused. I've got mixed emotions. I feel for Harry and then I turn right around and I feel for Niall. I need to sort things out. I need to get my head straight. I can't keep them in circles. I don't even know how Harry feels. He told me he had felt 'something' towards me when we were, what, fourteen? And then we decided to just be friends...I don't even know if he still has 'those' feelings for me. I'd really like to know. That might make my 'decision'--I guess you could call it--a lot easier. It might make things clearer for my head. I know Niall likes me...I just need to know if Harry likes me.

Why the hell did I have to get caught into something like this? I have Niall FREAKING Horan taking an interest in me...why am I not jumping at the chance? It's all because of Harry FREAKING Styles. He has to exist. They both have to exists. If just one of them didn't feel for me the way I feel for them everything would be so much easier. Instead I'm caught in between the two sexiest guys on the planet. ME. Yeah, me. Haddie Connors from Cheshire that moved to the US. Awkward Haddie Connors. The girl who had three friends. One by the end of high school. Random Haddie Connors. The girl who's only had one boyfriend her entire 18 years of existence. Me. Seriously? ME? Why couldn't this happen to someone more attractive? Someone without an awkward personality? Someone who doesn't talk to herself in the mirror.

I heard the basement door open and slam. Must be Niall. That's what I was guessing. I walked out the bathroom and ran into someone. Damn...Niall got up the stairs quickly. But it wasn't Niall. 

It was Harry.

Oh God. My mother fucking emotions...

***************************** AUTHOR'S NOTE ******************************

Getting better? I HOPE. TELL ME WHAT YOU THIIIIIIIIIINK! Please! I miiiight post Chapter Six tonight...depends on how late it gets! Haha. But thank you SO much for the likes and the comments and the reads! Almost at 200 reads!! HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN!? Anyways...comment on who you think Haddie should end up with? And next Chapter we might figure out what Harry thinks about the whole situation...YIKES! Dramaaaaaa! And if you've read the summary at the beginning you realize there will be some trauma...that will happen after they leave the Lake House in a few days...and trust me. It's intense. KEEP READING TO FIND OUT!!!! :D THANKS LOVELYS!!! x)

-Kate xx