boobs and dicks; stylinson

huit

{ the comments you guys leave me are so sweet! it mostly takes me ages to reply because i'm too lazy to check the comments but i try to reply to all of them! ilyasm! also, pic of Jordana to the side a.k.a Danielle Campbell who is hot asf }

dedicated to @exodontics bc she's perf and jess is where i got the idea for this story from.

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 So the next day was spent with Zayn and I on all the electronic devices we could find, trying to find someone who actually believed in this stuff.

"I found someone! Her name is uhm," He took a moment to sound out her name, I'm assuming.

"Dr. Wan-q-qu-," He let out a frustrated sigh, "it doesn't matter, I found her!" I laughed at his frustration.

"You're welcome." I rolled my eyes, mumbling a quiet thank you. 

I look at the screen of Zayn's Mac and quickly put the number into my phone and calling it.

"Fuck, no answer!" 

"Leave a voice mail, dumbass!" I rolled my eyes, once again at Zayn.

"H-Hi, I'm Louis and I sort of found you on the internet. My uhm, friend and I have a slight - no, a big problem! We have switched bodies a-and we don't know how to fix it and we sort of have to fix it because uh, - you know what? Call me back please and I'll explain everything, thank you."

"I hope she calls back soon." I added on to Zayn.

"Well, she should because she's a doctor, it's kind of her job." He scoffed.

"Should I call Jordana and ask her to come over here or?"

"Yeah, you should explain everything to her." I nodded as I dialed the bitches number. Regardless if she's in my body or not, I still hate her.

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About an hour later, Jordana showed up to my door in a pair of ripped sweatpants and a stretched out hoodie.

"Way to dress to impress, Jordana!" I said sarcastically.

"I'll have you know that it was your fucking fans that did this to me! You could've told me to watch out for fans!" 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "You look like - well, me. I'm Louis Tomlinson, 1/5 of the biggest boyband in the world right now and you didn't think to be careful? Are you sure you're not naturally blonde?" I sounded like a cocky little shit right now but it's true.

"Fuck off. You wanted to talk so talk." 

"Yeah, so Zayn and I found this doctor on the internet and she specializes in shit like this." I gestured between Jordana and I, "So, I'm waiting for her to call me back and hopefully she can help us."

"She better be able to help us! I'm sick of having to touch your dick every time I have to use the toilet!"

"Yeah well I don't appreciate having to touch your vagina! Your shit stinks!"

She scoffed, "Oh please! You probably don't even shower!" 

"I kind of have to shower with this long ass hair of yours! I'm tempted to cut it the hell off!" I smirked, this gave me an idea.

Jordana's eyes widened in shock and fear, "No! Please don't!"

"You can't do anything if I do!"

"Oh yeah?" She crossed her arms.

"Mhm." I hummed out, sitting on my couch.

She smirked, "I'll tell the whole world that you suck dick!"

Now it was my turn for my eyes to widen, she didn't know I was gay! Only Zayn and Liam knew!

"T-that's not true! I'm dating -" I didn't want to say it but I had to, "I'm dating Eleanor." 

"That doesn't mean anything, you could be like Neil Patrick Harris for all I know! O-or like Lance Bass! They dated girls and they're gay as fuck!" 

I was so nervous at this point, she can't find out that I'm gay! I decided to change the subject.

"You're not really dating Harry, are you?" 

"W-what are you talking about? Of course I'm dating him!" 

"Yeah? Then who's this guy that just so happened to feel me up at the bakery? Care to explain?"

"I don't have to explain shit to you!"

How in the hell was Zayn not hearing our yelling from inside of my room?

"Get out, Jordana!"

"No! I'm not leaving so your fans can maul me again!"

"Get out or I'll shave your whole head!"

Her eyes widened again and she raised her hands up, "Fine, but this isn't over!" 

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{ guys i'm not making fun of blondes, i swear! i'm a blonde so yeah. also, my sTORY REACHED 1K READS! tyvm you're all getting a cookie. }