Is this a dream ? ( Smosh/Ian Hecox fanfiction )

I will do it

I've been walking for the past 2 hours and I still didn't find anything...my legs felt numb...my hair was a mess...my eyes were bloodshot...i was a big mess...

I sat down on the sidewalk with my head buried in my hands...I was still crying...my life is miserable...

I got up and walked until i found a house that said ' for rent ' I felt relief run thro me as I approached the house and saw a lady in her late twenties with long brown hair smiling widely " hi !! Welcome t- " she said as I interrupted her feeling like a dick " yes hi um how much do I have to pay if I stay here ?!" She just stared " umm u pay 100$ each month " wow...I guess this might work...I hope...either way I'm not staying here for more than 3 months " ok I'll take it !! " she was wide eyed but happy " ok well here I'll show u around !" I liked this girl

After she showed me around the place it wasn't really that bad " uhm I'm sorry to ask but what's your name ?" She says shyly " I'm Hailey !! And u are ? "

" I'm Elisa !! Nice to meet u Hailey "

I smile as she says " so are u here for a visit...? I don't want to bug in if u don't want to tell me "

" no no that's ok I'll tell u "

As I told her the whole story I felt relived I felt like I found a new friend...as I was telling her tears filled my eyes as I try to keep them in...she just put a hand on my back and rubbing it slowly...I told her everything...from Sara's wedding until leaving and looking for a place to stay...after I was done I felt like she was filled with questions

" I'm sorry for everything that happened...its ok..everything will be ok...but can I ask...? " she says shyly

I sniff " of course..."

" this Ian guy...is he the one from smosh...? "

" yep...I was a huge fan and I always loved him...i still do but...idk if my heart will heal...from all the stabs that I got...i wish everything is like it was before...i really miss him...i love him...i..." I buried my head in my hands as I started sobbing

" aw Hailey !! " she hugs me tight " everything will be ok...sooner or later he will find out about her and he'll come back to u...I promise...even if it's not today nor tomorrow it will happen someday..."

For some reason I felt relieved...she makes me feel a little better " thanks.."

............

I unpacked my stuff and laid down on my bed after wearing a blank tank with my sweatpants and pulling my hair up in a bun...i put my head on the pillow and look up at the ceiling as tears stream down my face...i miss him...i miss him so much...why do I have to be such a fuck up !!

I couldn't sleep...so I decided to turn on the radio ' I know very old ' the first thing I heard when I opened was a Taylor swift song ' back to December ' and it was on the worst part...

I miss your tanned skin,

your sweet smile,

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that November night, The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,

Probably mindless dreaming,

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right...

I couldn't let it continue it described everything...him...and everything else... I changed the station and only going to a worse song

And the tears come streaming down your face...and I started crying again...

When u lose something u can't replace...i miss him so much

When u love someone but it goes to waist... all my love for him meant nothing...

I skipped the station and another song came up almost lover...surprisingly I listed to the whole song with tears filling my face...it reminded me of when I was singing and everything else...I couldn't help but cry...i had nothing else to do...i turned off the radio and started to cry again...this time I was laying in bed...with my pillow freakin wet...i hated everything...why should I even live...theres no fucking reason for me to live anymore !! Now that I know that I'm worthless !!

I went to the bathroom and decided it was time to do it again...I know I tried it a long time ago and said that I wouldn't do it again...cuz it's hard to give up that easily... but I couldn't hold it in anymore...i hated my life...there was no reason for me to live anymore...i closed the door and filled the bathtub with cold water and sat in it...I didn't even have a part of me that said " oh no don't give up don't do it !!" No...i wanted to do it...

And I will...

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DUN DUN DUUUUN !! What's gonna happen next idk !! But I hope u enjoyed this chapter !! made it even longer ;D !! If u wanna know the songs I used just ask me in the comments ☺️ i love u guys so much !! See ya later !! Bye !! BIIIIACH !! 👊