Finding Me {Niall Horan} completed

Chapter Thirty Four: Better

Ellie’s POV

It was weird being at my dads [KC1] funeral, especially seeing all the photo’s of him. I barely knew what his life was like and seeing his life in pictures was weird. I was asked to speak at the funeral but I said no so instead Sean did. As it turned out Sean had accepted Hamish back in when he first had the accident, I wasn’t angry at him I just wanted to know why he was willing to forgive the man that left us. My mum gave me the necklace that was mentioned on the news update that we watched, it’s a pretty piece of jewellery but it doesn’t feel right to wear it. It has that date of my birth engraved onto it and it obviously holds special meaning but I can’t bring myself to wear it. I haven’t been to his grave since the funeral, I don’t want to go. I know it’s probably really selfish of me to still be angry at him but I am and I don’t think I will ever forgive him. Niall and Sean have been trying to convince me to visit his grave but I’m being stubborn. A little part of me wants to go and see him again, just privately but it’s out balanced by me wanting to remain stiff and angry at him.

“Ellie, you know what I’m going to say.” Alex said over Skype after we greeted each other. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, not since the day after my dad’s passing.

“That you’re sorry and it’ll be alright?” I ask as I shift the laptop onto my lap as I sit still on the couch

“No, I think I’ve said that enough. What I was going to say is that you really should just go to his grave, for 10 minutes at the most.” I rolled my eyes at this, all people have been saying lately is that I should visit him and that they are sorry.

“I’m not ready yet.” I go with my usual excuse, that I can’t bare to see his grave when really I just don’t want to go.

“No, you’re just being stubborn. Don’t start holding back how you feel.” She looked at me through my screen, she seemed genuinely concerned.

“Just drop it okay.” I said as I started fiddling with the seam of my shirt.

“No, don’t drop it Alex! Keep pushing for her to go! It’s been a week Ellie, you have to go at some point.” Niall came walking out of the bathroom and stood behind me, I turned back around and looked at Alex as she gave Niall a wave.

“Niall…” I whined as he sat beside me and shifted the laptop onto the coffee table, he flashed me a smile before looking back at the laptop.

“Take her Niall, just make her go for like 5 minutes.” Alex said as she looked down at her phone briefly, a smile creeped up on her face and she started tapping away.

“I will.” Niall paused and turned to face me. “Go get ready, you’re going and I don’t care what you say. I will carry you there if I have to.”

“Fine…” I grumbled, Alex cheered as I got up and walked off, I could hear her and Niall starting a conversation as I quickly got changed and tied my hair back in a loose pony tail. When I returned back in the room Niall had ended the Skype call and was looking down at his phone. Last night he stayed over after we went to a small party, one of my old friends decided to just throw a small one and she invited me over and told me to bring a plus 1 so I brought Niall. We kept to our own, I didn’t know many people but the still tried to make conversation with Niall and I. Surprisingly they treated him like any other person, however there was one girl who wanted a photo with Niall and I, we didn’t mind.

“You coming?” I asked Niall as I headed over to the front door with my car keys in hand.

“I was looking forward to carrying you there, with you protesting how much you didn’t want to go.” Niall said as he got up.