Lucian-Catch me If I fall

chapter -46- Honestly

"I'm crying because I'm scared to lose you lucy...I don't want to lose you lucy"the truth spilled out from within Ian

Lucy's Pov

I knew exactly what had just happened because I saw everything and I felt everything as if it was real. It was as if when I fell asleep I was transported into a different world where bits and pieces of my past would fuse together to form new event which had actually never happened...but they felt more real then anything.

I broke the tear filled silence by pulling away from Ian's chest where I felt safe so I could speak

"I'm sorry....I'm really sorry but I couldn't control it and it all felt so real"it was hard to explain to anyone who's never gone through something like this but I had to try

"Lucy look at me please...there is no reason for you to be sorry,you did nothing wrong....I know your struggling and that's why we're her,so you can get help"he lifted my chin once again so I was looking straight at him

"If I did nothing wrong then why are you crying?did I scare you?"

"That wasn't your fault,it is all his fault and I can't help but be scared...I want to help you in every single way I can but I can't do that "his fear hurt. truely thanks to him I was getting better.maybe the change wasn't visibal but I felt better and losing him once again was not a option

"Ian....knowing that your here for me is enough . Having you by my side when I wake up from a nightmare or when I need a shoulder to cry in is enough for me"

"Lucy...is it really?"he sent me a questioning look as he held my chin so I couldn't avoided the eye contact with his water filled eyes.the sobs had died down but the tears were still streaming

"What...what do you mean?"

"Are you sure having me here is the right thing to do...the best thing to do?lucy are you ready to be with me?"

Was I ready?that was a question I had never asked myself beacuse when it came to Ian I was always ready.i took a moment to think before careful answering

"Of course I am...if there's one thing I'm definitely sure of  it's you....but you don't sound so certain"maybe Ian wasn't ready?I no longer felt sure but I knew this was something we had to discuss and it was better to discuss it now then later

"I am certain I really am but after so long I'm scared to hurt you once again and if your not ready then that's okay" hurt me?Ian had never hurt me.i pulled away in shock and after clearing my mind for a bit I resumed my position sitting in front of Ian where I placed my hand on his knee.

"Ian...please listen to me ....I am ready,I was ready a long time ago just as ready as I am now and as ready as I ever will be...you never hurt me all you did was protect me and I am grateful for that."

"There is nothing more that I want then to be with you Lucy"

"Then why are you affraide....what's stopping you"

"I'm scared that this all happened to soon...I wouldn't have it any other way...."before he could finish his sentence I lifted my hand up pressing my finger against his lips to shut him up

"I wouldn't have it any other was either.i love you and I want you here because you make this a hell of a lot easier and I don't know how I would have copied without you...what you don't see is the huge difference you have already made,thanks to you I'm getting better...thanks to you I'm getting help"

"Lucy as much as I want you to get better you must want this for yourself too"

"I do.I want to get better,I want to get better for myself,I want to get better for you and I want to get better for grace.there has never been something I have wanted so bad then to get better....well except you....I always wanted you

"Lucy ...you have always had me even when I wasn't here. My heart had always belonged to one women and that women was you...my one and only true love.my heart beats for you" he took my small hand in his and placed it flat on the left side of his chest so i could feel his heart poinding.

"Well...now your heart not only beats for me...it beats for our daughter too"a little chuckle escaped his lips

"Of course...our daughter...who we created together who shares our love and has pulled us back together....she is as beautiful as you"

"She is as caring as you"to me grace was a exact replica of Ian even though some argued that she looked like a little copy of me.

"She is perfect and thanks to you she is growing into a wonderful little girl....I love you Lucy."

Those were the words that made me proud of the little girl I had raised...they made me a proud mother

"I love you to Ian and you don't have to be scared of losing me...I will get better and I will fight....I will fight for our future"

"We will fight."

I was no longer alone.i no longer have to face my battles by myself as now I had Ian who would not only protect me but he would also fight for me.

"Lucy...let's get back to sleep, you have a busy day tommorow and you first appointment"

I leaned against his chest after exchanging a passionate kiss before we both found a comfortable position wrapped in each others arms and we fell asleep.

Ian's presence made me feel a lot safer so for the first time in a longer while I managed to sleep peacefully...there were no more nightmares just a clear mind full of optismism for the future...a future with Ian.

This is a really important chapter and I think it was necessary.i feel like they haven't discussed there realtaionshio as everything has happened so fast  so I felt like this was the right hung to do. I hoped you liked this even though it was a little bland.please vote and comment

Thank you for reading torielanna