Antidote

Chapter 11.

I had enough time to think about how I was going to break everything down to my mother but how she's going to take it is something I can't anticipate. All I know is she won't like it, scratch that, she'll hate it. She'll give me every reason why I shouldn't be doing this, she'll probably even throw in there that I'm being manipulated, but my mind is already made up. I'm going to be with Hayden and we're going to have a baby together.

I've asked my mother to pick me up from the airport and offered to take her out to dinner as a way to ease her into my news.

"You won't even believe how coarse and disgusting he was," She complains to me about a man she tried dating over the weekend. I'm not interested in this type of talk coming from her but I take it because I know she has no one else.

My mother doesn't like to make friends with the women in her age range. Apparently, they're too old for her and they won't have anything in common. I think she's afraid to grow up. In her mind, she's still young so she bases her life and decisions on that idea.

"Well Mom, that's what happens when you use Tinder to find a lover." I've had one too many awful one nights stands on that app to never use it again.

"Yeah, I'll just have to try a different dating app."

"Or you could meet men your age in person like normal people." It's always awkward when my mom brings a guy over to my place since she doesn't want to meet them alone for the first time. They are usually around my age so they look at me first as if I'm the one they're supposed to have this fling with. One of the most awkward times was one of the men swiped right on me and my mother so he thought we were going to have a threesome. It was a moment I wish to forget ever happened.

"I don't like men my age."

"Yes I know you don't, but it was worth a shot." She thinks men her age aren't as sexually relatable as her. She needs someone young with a lot of energy. And I get that, but I don't think she needs to go twenty years younger than her. It's almost surprising how many young guys are looking for an older woman. "One day Mom, we are going to have an in-depth assessment on why you decided to mess around with younger men."

"I have the libido of a young teen Alice, I can't wait for a man to pop in some viagra for us to have sex  since you want to delve into this discussion."

"So you'd rather put up with men who are using you for your wealth and a place to live?" The way she judges my relationship, you'd think she had her life all figured out and perfect.

"Anyway, how was your trip?" She's quick to switch topics. "What did you go there to do?"

Here goes the inevitable.

"I had to go see Hayden," I say getting straight to the point without giving too much away. I wish we were in the restaurant sitting down and not in her car.

"Oh." Her displeasure and disappointment are heard clearly in that single word. "Please don't tell me he's convinced you to get back with him after everything he's put you through."

"He didn't convince me of anything Mom, it was my decision."

"Oh Jesus Alice," she rolls her eyes, not bothering to look at me. "You do understand a man who's manipulative and controlling has a way of forcing you into things but making you feel like it's your idea?"

"I'm pregnant." I blurt the words out, holding out a glimpse of hope that she'll start to see things my way once she hears it. Maybe, just maybe, she'll be happy for me, for us.

"Did he impregnate you on purpose?"

"Mom! Really?!" I practically shout at her. She will never root for my happiness. "Neither he nor myself knew I was no longer protected by my birth control. He didn't do this on purpose nor would he ever do something like that."