Antidote

Chapter 9.

"Fingertips puttin' on a show, got me now and I can't say no . . ."

(Niall Horan - Slow Hands)

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"Have you eaten?" Hayden asks me, Naomi's small frame on his hip. It obvious how much they adore each other, she just wants to be in his company or in his arms 24/7, and that's something I can relate to on a personal level.

"Not yet."

"Mrs. Sutter has prepared dinner, you're welcome to stay if you'd like, you can even stay the night." He offers, his jubilation palpable. Seeing him so happy because of my decision has me reeling in the best way. It makes me wish I had made this decision sooner. He's so beautiful when he smiles, every time I see it I have the strongest desire to kiss him everywhere.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer."

"Which?"

I'd very much like to stay forever but I'll once again settle for one night. "Both."

During dinner, I've learned a lot about Naomi being that talks a lot and inquires a lot more. She desires to know all that there is to know before even going to school. Unlike Luke, she doesn't like to watch cartoons unless it's The Princess and the Frog, and even then she prefers playing with toys over watching television. I know Hayden must be happy about that, he complained about the cartoons Luke would always watch. She's already learning how to play instruments and claims the violin is her favorite. I read somewhere that listening to classical music can actually make us more intelligent and I can only believe in Naomi's case, it's true.

"What do you want to be when you get older?" I ask her after she questioned me about my career and what it is that I do.

Her answer yet so innocent was so deep. "Erm . . . I want to be happy."

She's too young to understand the extent of her response. She doesn't know this is all anyone could ask for. When the career and the wealth are gone what are you going to be left with? Loneliness? Regrets? Bitterness? Everyone wants to be happy and content with their lives and their decisions. I surely want that for myself.

"Me too."

"You're already older." She giggles from across the table, the sound heartwarming.

"Yes, I am, but I would still love to be happy." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hayden shift in his seat at my comment. His face frowned but when he saw me staring he fixed his expression.

"Go upstairs and get ready for your bath Naomi, I'll be there in a minute." Hayden helps her down from her chair and she runs off without another word. He watches her go up the steps and waits until she's no longer in his view to speak, "Alice, I want to make you happy."

"You have before and you will again." I place my hand on top of his, squeezing it reassuringly, "We will make this work Hayden."

"Every time you left I wanted to hate you for leaving me the way everyone else had, but I can't hate you for the life of me. I know I hurt you and did some unforgivable fucked up things but Alice you hurt me too. If you stay this time, I won't be able to handle you leaving again." Hayden being so open and honest without me forcing it is new to me, it's what I always wanted from him. As painful as it is to hear, I am already seeing the change.

"I'm here to stay Hayden, to try again, to be with you, to love you. I only have to go back to give in my two weeks notice and start moving out of my apartment, but I will be back."

With my hand on top of his, this is the first time I noticed the black ring on his middle finger. It's the promise ring I gave him on our trip back from New York. He couldn't bear to hear I love you then but he wanted me to stay and I promised that I would. Has he been wearing this since I left?