Antidote

Chapter 13.

"So this is your place?" Hayden walks around my apartment, his eyes not skipping over a single detail. For some reason actually having him here looking around at everything has me a little nervous. I never imagined Hayden would be here in LA walking through the place that I rented to be far away from him.

"Yeah, in all of its glory." I laugh nervously. I don't know why I'm being so weird with him. After being away from him for all of this time nothing between us is the same. Instead of picking up where we left off we're starting out as a new couple. We aren't those same people that broke up three years ago.

I just don't want our relationship to be awkward or not work out. The sex will always be great but do Hayden and I work together anymore? I guess I should give it more than two days before I already start to question us.

After looking around he stands before me while I sit on top of the island counter, "Is this weird to you?" I ask him unable to refrain myself from speaking.

"I wouldn't say it's weird, but it's an adjustment and I can sense you're apprehension in being with me."

"I'm not apprehensive." At least I don't think I am or if I am I'm not trying to be. "We are so different now and we changed so much. I'm trying to go back to what we had and where we left off."

"Alice," He chuckles shaking his head as if I've said something naïveté. "We left off on the wrong foot, I cheated on you and hurt you then you left. Why would you want to go back to that?"

"You're right, I just—" I sigh, unsure of what to say even though I have so much going on in my mind.

Cupping both sides of my face he speaks before I get the chance to, "You're worried that I'm going to hurt you the way I did before. I made many promises to you before and I broke them time after time. You trusted me and I betrayed you and I was never the easiest person for you to deal with. I am not that person anymore Alice, don't be afraid to start over with me, to give me your hundredth chance."

"Okay," I laugh lightly, my hands finding his hair as I seal my lips to his. I've been so afraid to trust him because I know I don't want that endless cycle of what we had before. It did neither of us any good.

"Are you sure you want to be with me? To do this again?" By the tone of his voice, I can see he's giving me an out now before we get too serious.

"Of course I want to be with you Hayden," I say, being completely honest with him. "I just have to learn how. We rushed into everything before so we have to move slowly this time around."

"Which means you won't be moving in with me when you come back to Seattle?"

"There's no way you really wanted me to." I stare at him quizzically. We haven't even been a couple for a few days. Just because we have history doesn't mean we should live together all over again. He has a daughter and I don't know him the way I used to. I didn't know him then when I agreed to move in with him the first time. It's all different now. We are going to be different—better.

Disappointment is clear in his face, "Hayden." I sigh as I say his name. "No, I won't be moving in with you. We can't live together yet."

"Then when?" Seriously?

"We will cross that bridge when we get there Hayden, as of now, I need to find a new job and a place to live."

Cutting into our conversation the front door opens and Mohamed walks into my apartment food and keys in hand. I'm quite thankful for his interruption because I didn't see the conversation ending well.

His eyes widen at the sight of me on the counter and Hayden standing between my legs, his hands still on my thighs even though he didn't like what was coming from me. "Oh, shit, I didn't know you had company."