I Think I Love You (Lashton Fanfic)

Chapter 15

*I wish that
I could wake up
with amnesia.
And forget about
the stupid
little things...*

{Amnesia - 5sos}

~Ashton's POV~

I watch Calum and Michael walk off hand in hand as I enter the room.

You know that feeling inside your chest when you can literally feel your heart break and cripple because of one reason or another? Yeah; me right now.

"L-Luke?" I asked walking closer to his bed where his wrist was wrapped up in a bandage.

He had a tube in his nose and some other tubes in his arm. He looked so broken and sad. It hurt to see him like this because he means so much to me. He laid there, eyes closed and mouth open a bit. He was breathing; steadily may I add. But the heart monitor told other wise. It was very slow meaning he was weak. I can almost imagine what happened in that exact moment...

~Third Person's POV~

(FLASHBACK)

Luke sat there. Thinking wether he should take his own life or not. He thought about his family, his best friends, and most importantly; his boyfriend. Ashton. He couldn't do this to him and everyone else. He thought it was selfish at first but no, he tricked himself.

It's only me? He thought.

Nobody cares. He said.

That's not it though.

I'll just cut today I guess. He shrugged picking up the blade.

He dragged it across his pale pink scars and made new ones. The blood dripped from his arm and he smiled. He liked it. The pain. He's not a creep though, he just loved the scenery. As soon as the skin is sliced, little blood droplets pop out. And the deeper you go, the more comes out. He made about 10 slits till he realized they weren't deep enough. Pressing the blade deeper he felt an ounce of actual pain, in his heart. He pushed it out of his mind and washed his hands after carving words into his arm. He took a bottle of pills and sighed.

This is it.

He took about a hand full, thinking that would do it. His mind raced of memories with his friends and family as he got dizzier and dizzier. Luke grasped the counter and fell to his knees.

I don't want to die...

He realized.

He screamed so loud but nothing came out. Falling onto his back while breathing heavily, gasping for air, he thought about his Ashton, his Ashy, his baby, his boyfriend for a split second.

And with that, he blacked out.

(FLASHBACK OVER)

~Ashton's POV~

I sighed. "Luke please, please wake up." Putting my head on the bed, I held his hand.

I heard a soft sigh and looked up but he didn't move an inch.

"Why?!" I scream. "Why couldn't that be me? I deserve it. Luke doesn't. He did nothing wrong. I don't see why I was so mad at you Luke! That bitch Skylar played me and Calum. I know she was lying. You could of never said something like that! God, why did I believe her?! I'm so stupid god damn it!" I got up out of my chair and hit my head against the wall, sliding down and sobbing into my knees.

"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT." I scream gripping my hair, frustrated. I'm so fucking pissed. This wouldn't have happened if I just hugged him back, didn't believe her, let him explain.

I can't be here, I have to get away from all of this. I opened the door to another nurse.

"Sir? Um, Mr. Irwin? Can I have a chat with you?" The nurse by the name of Joy, asked.

"Sure, yeah um okay." I wiped my tears and sat down by the table.

"So how long has Luke here, been cutting himself? Do you know?"

"About 5 years now. That's what he told me a couple nights ago." I swallowed hardly thinking of when we promised each other we wouldn't do it. But he did it because of me.

"Okay... So how long have you known Luke?"

"About a month."

"Do you or the other two boys cut as you know of?"

"I do."

"Why?"

"Reasons."

"Okay, I understand Mr. Irwin. Now tell me basic information about Luke."

"He's 16 now. A junior in high school. His birthday is on July 16, 1996. He has two brothers. His dad divorced his mom. And he's probably the sweetest human being ever and has had the biggest influence on my life. Oh, and he's my boyfriend." I said confidently at the end.

"Ahh, I see now. You two are cute." She smiled. "So about what's up with Luke. When we took him in, we unwrapped the bandage we wrapped his wrist in at his house and examined it. He made about 27 cuts in total and took half a bottle of pills." She told me and I sank down in my chair. I just stared into space with my mouth wide open.

"W-What?" My voice cracked as I felt my eyes water.

"I'm sorry Mr. Irwin but he carved words into his skin."

"What did it say?" I asked curiously.

"We have a picture." She pulls out a picture and slid it in front of me.

I looked at the picture and started crying again as soon as I saw it.

'he doesn't love you'

"Luke no." I got up and hugged him at his bed. "I love you so, so much and you mean the world," I sobbed. "to me."

"I'll leave you be." Nurse Joy backed out and gave a weak, sympathetic smile.

"Lukey please come back. For me." I sobbed even hard into his chest knowing he wouldn't hug me back. "Luke. Luke, please. I can't handle this anymore. I need to know you're okay. I've done everything I could god. WHAT NOW?!" I shook my head in frustration sitting on Luke's bed and burying my face into his chest, being careful not to hurt him.

I hugged him tighter and tighter till I felt a hand wrap around me and run my back.

"Shhh, baby don't cry." I heard his voice and pushed my hair out of my face and wiped my eyes.

"LUKEY. OH GOD. LUKE." I cried even harder thankful he's awake.

"Ashton I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Ashy." He shook his head in regret.

"Never do that again." I pulled his face up to mine kissing him softly as his hand roamed through my hair.

"I promise. I really do. Oh the boys. How are they? Calum and Michael, oh god. Oh, my poor mother!" He sat up quickly but groaned in pain.

"We'll take care of that later. I'll notify everyone but you stay here and rest." I assured him, laying down next to him for a bit.

"But... But I like just did." He pouted.

"This is a different kind of rest now." I patted his chest getting up but he pulled me back into a hug.

"Ashy?"

"Yes."

"I Think I Love You too."

~~~~~

AWHHHHHHH

NAKCBSIWNZOAJP

CUTENESS OVERLOAD IM DYING INSIDE. WHY DID I DO THIS¿

Anyways... I didn't mean for that flashback to be that creepy.

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~Sydney(: x