Oblivious To The Signs

February 12-13: Never Say Never to Perverted Jokes?

February 12-13:  (Friday Night - Saturday)

"You don't?" He looked so heartbroken, I almost took back what I said just so he'd feel better. Almost.

I just couldn't lie to him about it.

I sighed, hating myself for making him feel this way. "Yes, I don't. Andrew, I do have feelings for you. Trust me. It may not be love right now but that doesn't mean that I won't ever love you in the future. If you just give me time––"

"That's the problem, Emma!" He exclaimed. "We don't have enough time! I asked you to say that you love me back because I wanted to have something good to keep before I..." He stopped himself, trailing off.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Before you what?"

"Nothing. Forget I ever said anything." He told me.

"What?!" I cried. "You can't just say things like that, make me worried, and then pretend like it was nothing! Like you haven't said a thing!"

"Just drop it!" He shouted, making me flinch. He never raised his voice at me. The music downstairs is quite deafening still, I heard him loudly and perfectly.

But I wouldn't let him intimidate me. I wouldn't let myself cry in front of him again.

"What's wrong with you? You were cool this morning when you talked to my mom about us. You were cool when I told her I wasn't ready for us to be an us." I sighed. "You're not thinking straight, Andrew. Call off the party so you can take a rest. Come on. I know you're just saying this because you're drunk––"

"I'm not!" He countered, giving me a whiff of alcohol from his mouth telling me otherwise.

I sighed once more. "Tell me what's wrong. Please, Andrew. I want to help. You told me you don't like getting drunk and here you are, getting wasted. Come on, what's wrong?" I tried approaching him but he stepped away from me.

"I want to hear you say you love me." He insisted. "I just need to hear it. Can't you understand? That's all I'm asking from you right now. Is it too much to ask?"

I looked down at my feet. I seriously hate myself for hurting him. "I'm really sorry. I just can't right now with everything that's happening. I'm quite happy with what we are and I'm scared that if we become... together, things might get complicated."

"Complicated?" He snorted. "Jake's the only one who's complicating things!"

"Fine, you're right. But Andrew," I reached for his hand. "Jake's not the reason I can't say I love you back. I admit, of all the things that has happened in my life, I've learned not to rush into everything. Not only that, but my feelings are slower to develop now than it used to before. But trust me, they're developing for you. I so badly wanted to say I love you but I care for you too much not to lie to you."

He sighed, squeezing my hand. "If I say I'm leaving, would you tell me you love me to ask me to stay?"

There it is again.

Him talking about leaving. There's definitely something wrong. Why can't he fucking tell me?! This is so getting old. "Damn it, Andrew! Are you leaving?! Just admit it already! Don't leave me guessing here. If you are, just tell me now. I don't want to suddenly wake up, finding that you're no longer around."

"I'm not leaving." He insisted.

"Then what's wrong?" This is getting us nowhere. "You know you can tell me anything. Please, I want to help you! You've been there for me ever since the beginning and I just want to return the favor. Tell me, please. Tell me what's bothering you. What brought all of this? Come on, I don't like seeing you in this state."