Shattered Illusions (ON HOLD)

Chapter 21

Karly:

I stared up at the man before me, my heart hammering in my chest. My mouth had gone dry and I was very aware of how close our bodies were as Sideswipe held me in his lap. His gaze held mine as his hand cupped my cheek.

"W-what?" I breathed out, my face felt hot as he leaned in closer. Our lips were just barely touching.

"Do, you, want me?" He practically purred out, his voice sounding like sin.

I couldn't find the words to answer his question, I knew the answer, I've known it for a while and I know Sideswipe knew the answer. His thumb slid over my bottom lip as he gave me a dark smirk.

"I'm waiting." He purred out as his hands began to glide along my sides.

I finally force myself to nod.

"I do, I want you." I pant out, anxiously waiting for his next move. His hands ran along my sides, sending a shudder through my body, I desperately wanted him to continue touching me.

He opened his mouth to speak then he paused and a few seconds passed before an annoyed look passed over his face.

No!!!!

Don't you dare!

"Megatron just called everyone in." He said and I just rolled off his lap with a groan.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

"Cock-blocked by Megatron, great," I grumble and a snicker escaped Sideswipe.

"Well ifs its any consolation, I was planning to tease you and not take it any further." Sideswipe mused as he started to drive to the base.

"Well, that's swell." I glare at him.

"If we're doing anything, I want it to be special Karly. You deserve it." He said looking over at me seriously and I felt my heart stutter in my chest. Instantly I look away, feeling a bit flustered at that.

I was still annoyed though like here I thought I was super close to getting the D but here we are.

------

The drive back to base was a little long if I do say so myself, Sideswipe was casual as can be but all my brain was focused on was hopping up on that holoform D and riding off into the sunset.

Okay, that was extra but I digress. 

As much as my hormones really liked to make me think I was ready to go all the way I knew my emotions weren't. I've been severely emotionally constipated most of my life and I'm just now experiencing emotions girls my age got to experience a good few years before me. Not only that I was touch starved in so many ways, I knew once things got intimate with me and Sides, I'd turn into a complete blubbering mess. 

Ugh.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm that overly edgy character in a fanfiction.

Most likely.

I snorted in amusement at that.

"What is it?" Sideswipe questioned.

I waved him off.

"Inside joke with the voices in my head." I drawled making him snort.

I fell silent as I looked out the window boredly, wondering how the future would play out. I felt content, happy even. Here in this world, everything felt like it was coming together. I had a family, a possible future with the Decepticons. I was even confident enough to daringly think maybe I would have something with the twins together, sure it would take time to get them on the same page, but I was a patient woman.

I mean I don't expect like a forever relationship, that's too.....fairytale-ish. I'm 18 (AUTHOR: Am I right? I haven't updated in forever my dudes XD) and realistically it's not very common to find the person or persons you'd be with for the rest of your life at such a young age. I knew regardless of what happened between me in the twins I would never regret meeting them, sure there's a possibility for heartache but both of them have taught me so much and allowed me to grow into a better person. Sideswipe supports me in ways I've needed and I will honestly be forever grateful to him.

My fingers tapped on the window impatiently, my mind wandered to Sunny. I missed him, sure he was annoying as fuck at times but he was endearing, he was surprisingly open for someone thats seen a lot of hell.

I looked up when I felt Sideswipe changed direction suddenly. I frowned, aren't we going back to base?

"Whats going on?" I questioned curiously.

"Megatron wants me to head over to the otherside of town to meet up with Cliffjumper. Its just a meet up so you can join." He said

Red flags went up, something didn't feel right but it was a subtle feeling that made me think I was just being paranoid. Sideswipe was an experienced mech, if there was anything up he'd sense it before I did....

Wouldn't he?

-----

Out in the country next to a rundown feed mill, Cliffjumper was nowhere in sight and my instincts were screaming at me to tell Sides to get the fuck out of here, and I said as much to Sideswipe.

"Something isn't right." Sideswipe grunt tensely.

I gripped the seats tightly.

"Ya don't say?" I drawled my eyes darting over the surrounding area. I felt cold slip deep into my body and the hairs on the back of my neck rose. I felt absolutely sick with anxiety, my leg was bouncing like made and i was taking in deep calm breaths to keep from freaking out.

"Sideswipe, let's go please," I begged

He didn't respond but he did turn around and start driving back the way we came. Then I heard it, it was the unmistakeable sound of an engine, a muscle car of some kind. Before I had much time to really react Sideswipe kicked into 3rd gear and took off, his engine screaming loudly as he sped away from the sound of the engine.

"Autobots?" I sighed.

Sideswipe made a sharp left, my body jerked to the side but I caught myself. My heart was hammering in my chest as I felt even more dread.

"Autobots." Sideswipe confirmed

Great.

-------------------AUTHORS NOTE---------------

Hey guys, wow it's been awhile. I'm honestly very sorry I've left you guys hanging this long. I might as well come out and say it but this account is going to be dead for the most part. I mean I will at times update things but I'm no longer the high school girl that had all the free time on her hands. I started this story when I was roughly 14 and I'm now 20 almost 21 which is wild as fuck. This story will always ALWAYS have a place in my heart, I constantly think about all of my stories in fact, but I just don't have the time nor the motivation to update as I once did.

When I did have the time readers didn't interact with the works nearly enough for me to think it was worth it to continue. I know there are very loyal readers to my works who take the time to vote and make meaningful comments but sadly you guys are few. 

It sucks that I don't have the time I did, I know there's a new generation of fans going to be coming through with Bumblebee in theaters (FYI GO FUCKING SEE IT ITS THE BEST TF MOVIE BY FAR) and they're looking for good fics to read to get invested in.

I'm not going to make any more promises or say anything to get your hopes up, I've done that too many times and its unfair to you. Updates for this story and other stories in my account will not be common, I mean yeah there will be spells where I update but ya know.

This isn't my good bye, I mean Im hopeful that one day I can officially end all of my stories and give closure to you guys and myself, but don't expect it anytime soon.

Love you guys, 

-Code