Goat Simulator

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~~Annabeth Chase has UPDATED her Owl~~

Has anyone seen the boys in a while? Like I haven't heard a peep from them since last week...

~~COMMENTS~~

Piper McLean: No, I haven't seen hide nor hair of Jason in about three days, he said he was going to do some stuff over in New Rome...

Hazel Levesque: I haven't seen Frank since last night come to think of it... And I've not seen Percy or Jason either....

Nyssa: Leo said he was going to help the romans with something, you don't think something bad happened to them do you?

Preator Reyna: No, they have been in the Preator Cabin all night for the past week. Along with the Pluto delegate. They have not left that back room for days. I would have sworn them dead if I didn't perodically hear them scream.

Annabeth Chase: ....uh.... That doesn't sound good....

Piper McLean: And you haven't checked on them?????

Preator Reyna: Well they weren't making a big fuss in New Rome's streets so I figured it was best to just leave them.

Hazel Levesque: I'll send Aron on over to you guys in CHB, we'll be there in a few.

~HAZEL LEVESQUE HAS LOGGED OFF~

~Preator Reyna has UPDATED her What what is this?~

They seem to be shell shocked.

~COMMENTS~

Nico Di Angelo: All my life I have been empty. The doctors could not tell me why I was so depressed, and I never knew myself until today. I needed to experience my life as a goat. Goat Simulator has filled the void in my life.

I knew as soon as I hit the truck with my goat that this was what I had been missing. I flew through the air in slow motion, tongue flying around, hitting the edge of the map and rebounding back, landing on (and falling through) the roof of a house. I could not get out, but that did not matter. I was treated with the ability to look down into the house beneath me, seeing the unsuspecting people casually sitting at their computers, oblivious to the sheer terror of the goat above them.

Whether it was playing football with a basketball, swinging lampposts into groups of people or even doing 1080 degree flips, there was no limit to life as a goat. I didn't think it could get any better than this.

I was wrong.

As I jumped and screamed my way around the map, leaving a path of destruction in my wake, I happened upon a golden statue. Curiosity overtook me and I resisted the urge to grab it no longer. My life as a goat changed completely. I had a jetpack.

I knew that this was meant to be, and what my mission from the Great Coffee Stain in the sky was. I was granted the supergoat power of being able to lift people and cars with my tongue. I could survive any impact. I could slow down time with mere thought. Now I could fly. It was time for world domination. Humanity had to be silenced so that the new goat overlords could reign supreme.


All the humans are dead or enslaved. I have won. I am the goat, the goat is me.

Go and goat this game. I kid you not, for mere bucks you can experience a sandbox like no other. Destruction, mayhem, death defying stunts. Seriously, there are more than 921 million goats in the world. Killing the humans was just part of the game. This is a SIMULATOR. Do you understand? A SIMULATOR. This can happen. There are enough goats out there to enslave us and/or kill us. 

It is your duty as a human to get this game, so that you may truly know your enemy. An enemy people do not take seriously, an enemy that we know nothing about. Coffee Stain studios have granted us the insight into the true terrifying reality of the impending Goatpocalypse. This is your weapon against the goats. Be prepared, for the goats are coming to get us.

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